He Really Is Listening

I posted this on Facebook last night....

"At lunch today after church, Jacob asked if we were going to thank Jesus for our food. I said, of course. Then I asked him if he would like to pray. He said yes & insisted that we all hold hands & prayed, "Dear Jesus, thank you for our food. And for a good day. And for Sunday class. And for our food. And a good day. And Sunday class. AMEN.""

I started thinking this morning. He really is listening. To everything that's going on around him. The conversations he hears. The songs on the radio. The tv shows that are really just back ground to me.... they are making an impression on him. And.... as I am so likely to do, I started to obsess over every. little. detail for a few minutes and spun myself into a nice little mini-freak out that I could not possibly control everything that was pouring into his sweet little soul! And what would that mean for him?! What kind of mother am I? I must be vigilant! At all times! He's counting on me!

........


And then. I stopped. I took a breath. 


And I remembered that I cannot possibly control every little thing that pours into his sweet soul.

There. I said it.

I can do my best. I can guard his hedges to the best of my ability & pray to the LORD to do the rest. I can commit to disciplining him in the ways of the LORD. I can commit to teaching him love, honor, respect... and a myriad of other things that I dearly want my son to learn.

And.

When, it's hard. When he tries me at every. single. turn. (cause, he's a kid) I pray. Oh, I pray to God that He will work it all out for us, cause we love Him.

And. Then, Sunday. I got a glimpse that He is.

Enough

I so much want to do more and be more. To get out of my house more. To take my little boy out. To be able to leave the house without a second thought.
But. I can't. My gandmother can't be left home alone anymore. Her diabetes and her dementia have robbed her and us of that now. Its robbed us of, really, her.
And sometimes, when her attititude truly sucks & she's crazy and mean. And my son is going bonzo, locked up in the house. And I'm going bonzo locked up in the house- I've had Enough. And I resent it all. There are days when I've had enough of the blood sugars & the locked up medicine & the ugly attutude and words that come out of my grandmothers mouth. Of the harsh relationship between my mother and my grandmother. Of having the trade off baby sitting shifts over an 85 year old woman.
And there are days that it takes about all we have the make it to bedtime.
But, that can be enough. Just to make it. Just to know that we survived another day. And tomorrow will be better. And my son is now at the age where he'll remember the fun times with his great-grandmother. When there's laughter at the back yard pool- and my mother, grandmother & I are watching my son show off his new swimming skills. And ... that can make it enough.

I think maybe, when you can find the joy (no matter where it is, how small a sliver) it becomes enough.

Let's go to the movies

So, the short one (who's over half my height at a week till 4 years old) and I went to the Studio Movie Grill here is Dallas on Saturday.

We've been watching more & more 'real' movies here lately at the homestead and Jacob has sat through them all. Loving every minute & moment. I thought that maybe, just maybe, the time had come to re-introduce him to the movie theater experience. (remind me to tell yall all about our $movie viewing of Kung Fu Panda 2..... he hated it when it came out.... loves it now)

The movie? Ice Age: Continental Drift
..... Jacob loved it. (did I mention he's basically...4?)




Waiting in line. Jacob was more than ready to ditch the line & hit the theater at this point. We're not quite at the level of understanding 'waiting our turn'..... oh well. (and yes, the picture quality stinks.... we were standing in front of sun filled, glass windows. Oy.)




We sat down & someone who shall remain Jacob looked waaaaaay to big for his little britches. Seriously, I took the picture & looked at it & promptly wanted to break into a rousing chorus of "Sunrise. Sunset." My baby is growing up. Meep.




Watching previews for the first time. (yes, I had to document it) He had a Sprite & had ordered mini-corn dogs by this time. And he was feeling VERY grown up, let me tell you.




But, really, all he really, really cared about was ordering "copcorn" at the "mobie theatre"...... And yes, I let him hit the little red button to call the people back to our seats after we had eaten our food. Was the tiny tot impressed with himself? ..... I believe the above picture speaks for itself.




And here we have the obligatory "end of movie picture"... picture. with the 'copcorn'.... of course.




This picture? Just cause I can. :-)

What did the mommy think of the movie? Well, there were moments of some great one-liners & character exchanges. But. But....... there was a moment into the movie when (almost as one) all the parents started pulling out their iPHONES.... anything to keep the brain cells active. It wasn't as funny or as fresh as the 1st Ice Age. However, all the kids in the audience (my mini-me, included) loved it.

And.... I think that's what matters the most. 

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The 4th

I think this pic pretty much sums it. Happy 4th.... A day late.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone