To Recap

It's been an eventful spring, summer and fall around Bloggergirl Inc. And, while I try to keep things light and upbeat around here- as we all know, sometimes life gets in my way

We shall start with the bad news, my Grandma passed away in July. I am still grieving. I have been blessed and spoiled by being 30 and (as of July) still having 3 of my grandparents. And I was keenly aware of that. Those were some of the hardest days of my life, thus far. And... that's saying something. My Grandma was human. She was flawed. But Eleanor Pentino knew how to LOVE. And she taught her family how to love. We're all still trying to grapple with her last few months of life (they sucked). Trying to focus on the greater-than 80 years prior to those months. And, trying to figure out what life without her means now.

For me- it means, back to school. Yea. Lot's of time in the kitchen as well. I am on a mission to immerse myself in my Grandma's recipe's. Cooking. It's how I cope. There's something therapeutic in chopping and stirring and tasting and standing over a hot stove. Hitting the Italian Rosseta Stone lessons harder. I am determined to go to Rome & go to Mass for my Grandma... she wanted to go but didn't get to. And I want to go to the homeland. And teaching the little dude all of these things- and more.

Some good news? (please, oh please? you say) I have been keeping company with another J as of late. How do you like that turn of phrase? For the purposes of this blog, we shall call him "E". Just because having to "J"'s is waaaaay too confusing. I suppose I could call Jacob "little J" and the other, "big J".... but that's a little silly. And there is logic to my "E"- last name. :-)

Let's see, a little about E. He likes sushi. Me. Books. He's wicked funny. Darned handsome. Will read anything... no really, I mean it (I have the saved, emailed news articles to prove it... wait is that weird?... hmmm). And I think I've got him convinced that taking your intrepid Bloggergirl to the Great State Fair of Texas to see the Bangles (yea!) is a great idea.
He'll be thrilled, he got props on my blog.

Somewhat off the wall question that will make sense in a moment- are there any scifi cool kid geeks out there? Yes? Great. Are you reading Jim Butcher's Dresden Files? No? Then get thee to the book store or to the internet book supplier of your choice and start reading. Just sayin'.

Okay people- happy Wednesday.
Oh, before I forget! I joined twitter! Join me there!
And come back tomorrow to here my rant about facebook, twitter & my newest bit of crack, pinterest!
Peace out!

Oh, Yes I Did

I admit it.

I watched the premiere of Two & a Half Men last night.... with my dad. Why? Obviously I have no shame when it comes to television & my viewing habits are questionable. But, hey- at least I draw my line at reality tv...

Anyway. Back on point. Ah, yes. Ashton Kutcher's bare tushy.

What? there was pixelation. (pixleling? pixels?)

I laughed. I did. There, I said it. My daddy laughed. We burst out loud laughing. Evidently we have the comic maturity of 13 year olds- what can I say... I am my father's daughter in some ways.
But we did walk away with some valuable life lessons (as we always do).

Life Lessons from Last Night's Two and a Half Men
Never marry your stalker.
Hell halth no fury like a stalker scorner. (see above rule)
Teenage boys are always hungry. At all times. No matter what.
A Dustbuster can pick up anything.
A lack of emotional maturity could= Alan Harper as your savior... = naked hugging


Yes, it's a new show. Yes, if it offended you before- it will probably offend you now. No, it doesn't have an ounce of sentiment in its' marrow. But, darnit- it's funny.

"And he's a hugger."

Return of the BloggerGirl

AAANnnnnnd,

She's back.

Really, I have no excuse- save for the fact that I totally forgot my blogger password. Really. I'm not kidding. One would think that I would have the 20million or so passwords that I maintain written down somewhere, but I might be a wee bit paranoid about someone with evil intentions getting their hands on my password list & having their wicked way with my stuff....

..... if only I had been a smidge more paranoid about the thought of not remembering my password & thus not being able to ... you know, blog. Sigh.

Ah well.

Lots and lots going on here-
I'll save it for another day.
More food.
More stories.
More pictures.
.... and the ongoing saga of the epic journey of a mother & her 3 year old son who believes pooping is for chumps!

Be sure to check the sidebar. New links are coming soon! (none of the are about poop)
Until next time

Irony with a Side of Burgers

Or maybe the other way around.

Anyway.

True story. I do not like burgers. Or meatballs. Or meatloaf. Or any other compacted meat... thing. I have nothing against ground meat- I find it tasty, but when it's compacted... we've got trouble. It's a texture thing & it skeeves me out.

::shudder::

However, I make a really kicking burger.

ground beef
1 packet of hidden valley ranch dressing
worcestershire sauce (several healthy shakes out of the bottle)
hot sauce (just a shake or two)... note: sauce, not salsa, there's a difference
salt (a couple of grinds)
pepper (a couple of grinds)
... and to really make it fun, toss in some cheese crumbles- I like blue cheese

Mix it all together & let it sit and chill in the fridge for a couple of hours before you pat them out into patties and through them on the grill. And, if you have texture issues, like yours truly, then crumble your pattie up (sloppy joe style) & enjoy on your bun.... just be sure you can ignore the eye rolling from your beloved friends and family!

Peace Out!

Thinking Out Loud

I was reading a blog post today on a blog site I rarely go to. My readings are extremely varied. I like reading the thoughts of people who agree with me... but I also like to read the thoughts of people who do not agree with me. Call me crazy, but there are days when I do want to hear from people who hold totally opposing viewpoints from me- I think it's healthy. and it keeps me from getting intellectually lazy.

Today was one of those days. The blog post that is sitting on my brain revolves around a lady who doesn't support the Boy Scouts of America because they are mean to gays and people who don't believe in God. (that's really not all that far off from the words she used.) They are bigoted, she says & she doesn't support them. That the Supreme Court was wrong to let them continue in their meanness. And, by the way, here's a link where you could make the BSA be nicer- or "affirming and inclusive." And other mothers chimmed in, affirming her.

(she does support the Girl Scouts, who are nice to gays and people who don't believe in God... if you were wondering.... and posted a link where you could go give the Girl Scouts a big "Way to Go!" if you were so inclined.)

Anyway- what struck me was this..... the Boy Scouts say upfront what they believe in. There is really no mystery. Why could they want to allow people who don't believe the same things they do into their organization? And for that matter, why would people who don't believe the same things that the Boy Scouts do WANT to be involved?

Because there is more to it, I think. Because some people can't respect that others don't agree with them. Because it's much easier to hang ugly labels on people and groups than it is to say, "You know what, I disagree. But, let's agree to disagree." AND WALK AWAY.

Respect runs both ways.

Happy Birthday Grandpa

me and my grandpa, Norman Pentino- 91 years old today

The Bottom

Some days I'm just scraping the bottom of the barrel to find blogging material.

I admit it. Like today. All I really want to do is whine about my allergies. And the nasty, dirty car that I really need to clean out before it stages a revolt and drives away on its own. (not that I would blame it, AT ALL.)

..... and speaking of whining- can I just tell you about my cell phone?

Ugh. Ok, here's the deal. I have had this phone for about a year or so. In other words, IT'S NOT THAT OLD. But every 5-7 text messages or so, I have to take the back off. Take the battery out. Put the battery back in. Replace the back. Then turn the phone back on. And then I can go back to the text messaging area of the phone and go the outbox where my message has been lovingly (not!) saved and send my (freaking!) message.

Why must I do this? I'm going with, because my phone has a demon.

....I miss my Razor. My pretty, pretty Pink Razor. I mourn it. I do.

Oh, and also- sometimes, my phone will blast people with 3 or 4 texts from me at very odd times of the day.... like 3 or 4 in the blessed morning. Good times.

So, if I know you in the real world & you get multiple, oddly timed text messages from me.... no, I'm not loosing my mind (yet)... my phone has it out for me.

And yes,I probably was trying to ask you or tell you something at one time... feel free to inquire what it was! :-)

Words? Totally Not Needed.

When Everything Is Said

In the last month or so, I have had 2 dear ladies in different branches of my family pass away. Each of them lived long lives. They were the matriarchs of their respective branches & are so darn loved and will always be.

Death is an interesting device.

When both of these dear ladies passed, everyone did what just about all people do- they started going through the Rolodex of their minds, reliving every moment they could remember. Thinking back on their times with them, laughing, crying, talking about their personalities. What they believed in. Who they were, way down the marrow.

And that started me thinking. When it's all said and done & you're not here anymore and memories are all that people have left of you.... who will people say you were?

It's a question I've been asking myself a great deal this month. It's a question that's worth asking of ourselves a lot, I think. The memories and the legacy that we leave behind for others are really what it's all about, in the end. I think they are more tangible than money, or cars, or clothes or any of that stuff- because all of that junk can be taken away. But the moments... the life we live with the people around us... that can't be taken away. Not really.

Anyway- I've just been thinking about what will be said. What I hope will be said. And how to live a life worthy of it.

I Love...

1. that I remembered the Macy's gift card from my grandparents that was tucked away in my wallet... I bought a new signature ring with it.... I love it too.

2. the Wonderful Wizard of Oz when I'm feeling down.

3. when my brain kicks in before my mouth engages... Don't ask.

4. Freshly painted toe nails.

5. lilies.

6. the new purse my friend Faith got me for my birthday. It's bright and lovely and whimsical.... and I'm thrilled it's officially spring and I can start to use it without breaking into Emily Post hives.

7. pink. But you knew that.

8. when I have new books to read. Makes me all warm and fuzzy.

9. A certain little dude with blond hair and blue eyes & a crazy love of Thomas the Train and Mickey Mouse.

10. Gus McCrae.

11. beef stew on cold, chilly days

12. drive-in movie theaters

13. watching movies that are so bad that they are worth watching... just for the sheer pleasure of mocking within an inch of the movie reel. (I'm looking at you, Red Riding Hood.)

14. the jalapeno soup at Fish City Grill.... greatest soup, ever.

15. flower pens- those make me so darn happy. every time I go to write something and pick up one of my flower pens, I smile a little.

Hold the Special Sauce

So, there is this place.
I like to go there for my sushi fix.
It's almost like my very own Cheers- they know me. I know them. I know their food.

... or at least, I used to.

Until my trusted sushi chef moved from his place of my comfort to the kitchen and a new sushi chef took his place behind the counter.

Oh, dear.

It has not been the same.

I've has lively discussions about yellowtail and whitemeat fish (I was later vindicated, by the way... I KNEW he gave me the wrong piece of fish!). Presentation is slightly different and is taking some getting used to.

But there is one thing... the special sauce. Oh. No. Just, no. I don't care if it's suddenly "traditional." There has never been special sauce on my yellowtail sushi before & darn it, it displeases my sensitive pallet!

The first time I saw it, I just stared at it... horror struck. What was this reddish-pinkish goop on my perfectly lovely fish? I couldn't eat it. I wouldn't eat it. I made my dining companion eat it. And then report to me. (spoiler: it was a no)

The only special sauce I really want to deal with has the word soy in front of it, thankyouverymuch.

So, in conclusion- always remember. Hold the special sauce. And please, Dear Sushi Chef.... come back. Please. No, really. Please.

Part 1 (cause I have nothing else)

Random Fluff


1. Because of the movie JAWS, I cannot swim in the ocean. No way, no how.

2. I (possibly) have an un-natural obsession with sci-fi.

3. My favorite on-stage role in a musical (thus far) has been Nancy in Oliver. It was a dream come true to perform that role & I would love to again.

4. My favorite on-stage role in a straight show (thus far) has been the Stage Manager in Our Town.

5. My favorite play is Our Town.

6. I read Shakespeare when I was 10 for fun.

7. As a child, I was obsessed with the television show, Perry Mason.

8. When I was 8 or 9, I asked for & received a law book for Christmas. Read the whole thing.

9. Law Vegas is the happiest place on Earth for Taylor.

10. My paternal grandfather was born in Sicily and came to America when he was 9.

11. I am claustrophobic.

12. I have a trophies for dancing when I took dancing lessons.

13. I have singing awards from junior high & high school competitions.

14. I have a pink lap top & it's named 'the pretty, pretty pink precious.'

15. I can watch The Wizard of Oz again & again & again...... & again.

16. One of my favorite literary characters is Gus from Lonesome Dove.

17. I read Gone with the Wind, cover to cover, when I was 8.

18. When I was a child, grounding me meant taking away my library privileges.

19. MacGyver is my hero.

20. Bluebell ice cream is my favorite because I used to eat it with my D-Daddy (grandfather) when I was a little girl.

21. I would rather eat my grandmother's sugar cookie dough than eat the cooked cookies.

22. I don't like bananas... but I like banana flavored food. It's a texture thing.

23. I won't eat compacted ground meat, ie: burgers, meat loaf, meatballs. Nasty! Again, texture thing. But I will eat ground meat that's broken up.

24. I worked for a U.S. Congressman for almost 2 years. Very cool.

25. My favorite actor is Robert Duvall.

26. I have met all the lead actors in Star Trek the Next Generation & have their autographs.

27. Walter Keonig hit on me once...

28. Leonard Nimoy said that I was a very pretty & polite young lady.

29. My favorite cupcakes are the strawberry and the red velvet cupcakes from Sprinkles.

30. I must have coffee in order to form coherent thoughts and sentences.

Pause

If you know me, then you know that the only "pause" I'm a fan of is the pause button on the remote control when I have to run to the bathroom in the middle of a movie...

Let me back up for a moment- I love my church. I adore my pastor. I do. Really. But there are times when I could gladly hurl my Bible at him in the middle of the Sunday service. Seriously. There are certain sermon series that I hate with a fiery passion in my heart- mainly because I can hear the voice of God in my pastor's words.... and that bugs me. Especially when its not something I want to hear.

Our current sermon series is on "Pause"- when it seems like your life is on pause.
Heh, insert joke here.
Mine qualifies.
I have control over some of it- but there is quite a lot that... I don't. A question was posed at church this past Sunday, "What are you totally relying on God for? In other words, if God doesn't 'come through' it won't happen?" .... If I really knew you, dear readers, I could give you a list. I'm thinking of a couple in particular.

But I have seen (in particular... very recently... very clearly) how powerful prayer is. I have seen what happens when God moves in the lives of His children. It's electrifying. It's thrilling. It's wonderful. It's scary. It's joyful.

Have you ever felt as if you were walking through something... as if you were dealing with a lot of 'stuff' that clearly wasn't the point? As if you were being prepared for something? Lot's of puzzle pieces being picked up, gentle readers... I'm not really sure what the end picture is supposed to look like but- I have great hopes for it.

If You were Wondering

It should be of note to all that I cannot play pool.

Let me explain. I went to play pool with some friends not all that long ago. Which is a rather charitable description of how I play.
I have a very, very specific m.o. when it comes to playing pool (or any other game I know I don't stand a snow balls chance of winning).... "if you can't beat.... screw with 'em till you break them."

And darned if it doesn't work quite a few times. Heh.

Though, honestly, I do always feel rather sorry for the poor person who gets saddled with me as a pool partner. They should get a handicap. (Oh, wait... they did. Me.)

Kinda Like the Black Death

Only we didn't die.

Jacob was struck down from Wednesday night to Monday. Yikes. Fever, deranged coughing fits... snotty nose. Yucky. The poor child is still coughing, though thankfully, not as badly. There for a day or so, I thought I was going to see one of his internal organs on my rug.

And just in time for him to get on the upswing of that mess, the pollen count here in North Texas has started to rocket sky high. Not cool. He seems to be okay for now, but I can only breath out of one side of my nose at any given moment in time.

(btw, it is totally possible that we have killed an entire rain forest in Kleenix within the last week)

I'm hoping the boy will feel like going to school tomorrow & be up to spending the night with his dad tomorrow night. He's missed out on both the last week. He is getting back to his old self- last night, I caught him rummaging in his closet... something he is NOT supposed to be doing, by the way.

I looked at him and said, "What are you doing?"

The child looked at his mother and said, "Who, me?"
....... and batted his sweet little blue eyes.

We're Skipping School Today

but we have a doctors note. And its' not really school- school. It's playschool. But... still.
Jacob has 'special germs' right now. He came home from his dad's house on Wednesday night with a runny nose and a fever.

Awesome.

It only got worse. He went to bed at 9pm, got in a good nap until 11pm and was awake, fever'ish (102.6!) for THE ENTIRE REST OF THE NIGHT. yea. The poor boy felt like poo- or as he says, "boop." His fever finally broke about 4:30(ish)am... and he finally drifted off for another nap about 5am. He popped up at 7:30am. Ugh.


I would like to say that, the good news was, even with all that fever, he never hurled. Though we had one moment of drama. Around 3am, he was laying in my bed... I was drifting in and out. The lights were off.
All of a sudden, he sat straight up in bed, looked at me and said, "Uh-oh, Mommy!"
Crap.
I sat straight up in bed, knowing... just knowing that my child was about to blow his cookies all over my bed.
But then, after a moment, he looked at me and then laid back down again.
......... I think he was just screwing with me.
It worked.

Needless to say, we went to the doctor.
Severe Upper Respiratory Infection.
Bugger.

And so, we're on house arrest for a couple of days. Lots of fluids. Lots of rest. Lots of Mickey Mouse (the only rodent allowed in my house, by the way). Lots of coffee for the Mommy. Lot's of Tylenol and Motrin. A forest worth of Kleenix. Changing one pair of pajamas for another (the boy, not the mommy. The mommy is getting dressed every day.... otherwise she would feel icky. The boy is happy in his jammies.)

... and so I leave you with a picture from better times. Jacob in better health & the Steelers hasn't blown the SuperBowl yet. Peace out!

Valentines with P-Dub

How I spent my Valentines Day.... an essay in pictures. Kinda. I was going to takes pictures of the lines.... of the peoples, etc. But my feet hurts. And my legs hurt. And I was hungry. And sleepy.

So this is all you get. P.S.- my camera staged a revolt. Yes, the picture quality sucks. I'm aware. Just wait until you scroll to the bottom- the picture of me? Yeah, that really sucks.

Ree Drummond- The Pioneer Woman
She autographed my cookbook. Yes, my cookbook. Why? Cause I'm a super, space cadet like that.

.... and then I had asked her to autograph the other book she wrote. The story of how she met her husband. It's way too cute for words.

Oh look, the covers!

Hey. It was 11pm. That's all I'm sayin'.

I went home and died not long after this picture was taken.

Once More, Unto the Breach

or something like that.

School is back in full force. Please, see my excitement........

(crickets. crickets.)

The tests. Oh, the sheer number of exams that await me.

There is much to do & even less time to do it in. I foresee not a whole lot of sleep in my future & an even greater amount of caffeine. Heh, everyone thought I was an addict before.

The "D"word is almost final. Almost. Maybe. In some far off world. Place or time. ::sigh:: I was promised that a certain signature would happen this week (ahem, its Thursday). And that everything would be final so that, you know, child support would kick in March 1st, J's health insurance would have an official 'must be done' date, my car could be transfered to my name.... You know, small stuff like that. Odds and ends, really.

::slow burn, people. slow burn::

(and no, I'm not bad-mouthing my soon-to-be-ex-husband. I'm merely expressing my feelings.)

Anyway. Lot's of "stuff" going on. And that's about the only word for it. Anyone ever had a season like that? Just a lot of "stuff." And it all requires your attention, though some of it you would gladly chuck out the window. Some good. Some bad. Some, you just stare at going, "What... the hell?"

And then there's the added fun of the single mom "stuff." Some good and some bad. That puts a whole new spin on everything you do, say and think.... I think. I've got hours of material on that one. But, suffice it to say, no matter how much help you get (and I've had a solid support system with deep roots)... in the end, it's all on you. You're the mom.

And that's a heavy burden.

Yes, it does change (a lot) when you divorce. The other parent isn't there, in the home. So guess what? If you're anything (at all) like me- you start qestioning every. single. freaking. decision. and then totally up the years of therapy that you become convinced your child is going to require at some point.

::sigh::

Slightly off track, I did get. Anyway. Moving on.
Like I was saying. Sorting through the "stuff."
What fun.

Leaning on prayer.
Learning from Sarai (or, Sarah... if you would prefer). My dear, friend. Yes, she is.
Living in the moment.
Learning to listen.
Learning to speak.

Death by Turn Over

... and extreme football stress.

Yes, my Steelers lost.
.......... spoiler if you didn't watch the game. And yes, I paced the ENTIRE width and length around my house. A few times. Muttering, many times, "I can't watch this. This stresses me out."

Only to park my tush on the sofa upon completing a circuit around the living room. I couldn't help it. I'm totally glutton for punishment. As are, apparently, my people from Pittsburgh. Oh, the humanity of it all. The crying. The weeping. The gnashing of teeth.

Then the circuit around the house would start again. It's a great way to get your cardio in, I've found. Pace your way through a football game.

There was one brief, shining moment.... and then Steeler Nation was plummeted back to the pit of hell. Ugh. (and again with the pacing.....)

Turn overs... how I loathe thee.

Jacob even gave up on the game. 5 minutes before the end. He walked to his bedroom door, opened it & demanded to be put to bed... I can't say that it was a bad decision in the long run.

Ah, well. Until next year Steeler Country, until next year..... that is, if there is a next year.
Hopefully the players and the coaches will decide to be nice and play together nicely.
Anyone besides me have the overwhelming urge to give these massively well-paid PLAYERS & OWNERS a time-out.... and maybe a doseof reality?

I Affirm This in EVERY Way......

Yeah, it's cold.

It's cold.

no. I mean, it's frakking cold.

Holy buckets, it's cold outside. Winter is having one last party in north Texas and it's inhabitants are freezing their collective keesters off. I'm hold up with my warm blankets, fuzzy warm socks, my cat, my heating pad... and a lot of laundry that the dratted laundry fairy keeps bypassing.

I'm going to have to do something about that before the mountain of laundry buries me alive.
Death by dirty (but cute) socks.
Not a good way to go.

Stay warm!

A Quiet

The little Lad has jetted down to south Texas on a beach vay-cay with his dad for a week.

My heart.
a dear friend asked me this weekend how I was feeling. i believe my response what something along these lines, "You know the suction attachment of the Hoover vacuum? Yeah, it can suck your soul right out of your body."
gotta love a multi-tasker

So, um, yeah.

What will the most devoted mommy of one be up to, you ask? Well, it's so very climactic. Please, contain your jealousy. I'm going to get the oil changed in my car. And, since I'm feeling particularly wild this week, I think I'll get the inside detailed out. Mount Laundry seems to have piled up on me again. Bah. And then there's the small matter of J's Christmas tree and manger set that are still out (yeah, blew right on past Epiphany..... "Here's one for you Taylor, stop procrastinating on putting Christmas stuff away! until February shows its face).

Are you jealous yet?
.... and then my dear, sweet, wonderful band of merry men & women ("I am NOT a merry man!") who are responding to my S.O.S. to keep me occupied and my spirits up during my Jacob-less week.

(Total props and bragging rights if you can place the above mentioned quote.)

And now I must go- apparently February is going to show her skanky self by blasting up with frakking freezing weather and snow. I gotta count my blanket, my soft fuzzy sweaters, and socks..... and glare at Target. a wonderful retailer that is already selling swimsuits. in January/February. Have they no shame? Santa's corpse isn't even cold yet!

But if he sticks around here, it will be freezing.

(** a note, this is the longest my little dude has ever been away from me. forgive me, my whining. :-) it's been a long time since I've been in anything BUT full-time 'mom-mode'**)

Cause I'm Awesome Like That

So, I woke up at 2:30 Saturday morning thinking that I was going to blow my cookies.

(spoiler: I didn't.)

But I laid there drifting out of a very uncomfortable sleep until it was time to wake my child to send him off with his father at 8:30am... thinking that I was going to blow my cookies. And the dizziness. Oh, the dizziness.

As soon as Jacob was safely trotting down the walkway with his dad (after making me chase him around the house, not wanting to get dressed or mind, at all before his dad arrived) I stumbled back to bed until it was time for him to come back home.

Jacob ate lunch & then took a nap & then I laid down too. Cause, did I mention the dizziness?

Mamaw here, thought that someone had yanked the world off its' axis and spun it fast without my permission & I was getting ready to get my broomstick after the no-good ya-whoos.

It got better as the day went along & then Sunday dawned....

Hi dizziness, you're back. Rinse and repeat.

Monday Morning. Rinse and repeat. Again. (But, with the added bonus of an early riser who wanted in my bed... not to sleep, but to bounce up and down. For about 30 minutes. 'Kid, this boat ain't big enough for the both of us.')

Possibly time to go to the doctor, huh?

My doctor looks in my ears and asks me this question... "Does your ear hurt... at all?"

"Um, no. Why?"

"Because you're right ear is so inflamed it looks like it's about to explode out of your ear."

Awesome.

So that explains the vertigo and strange compulsion to heave my stomach contents. And my abysmally low blood pressure. Yeah, for dizziness. Stupid inner ear.

More good news- its not actually an infection. It's just really inflamed. Excellent. Drink plenty of fluids and treat the symptoms until it goes away. How long, you ask? 3-4 weeks. Rock on.

Yes, I'm a medical over-achiever. Who, by the way, is totally a sucker for the power of suggestion. Yeah, my right ear. It's bothering my now.

But, in actual good news- THE STEELERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!
I'll try and devote another post to my happiness over that.
For now, Mamaw needs to get her blanket and pillow and go lay down. Lie down? Ugh, I never can remember which it is. Grammar, why must you taunt me so?

Sat. Steelers' Game

A little late... I know. What can I say? It's been a long week. I'm happy to say that I believe that Jacob is on the upswing of the crummy-crud. Yea!

So, in honor of that.... I give you a 3 part picture show, portraying the emotions that went into watching the Steelers game on Saturday. (Spoiler: we won. thank God.)

Happy, Enthused. Filled with Hope.... Just after kick-off.

Half-Time.... remember the emotions from kick-off? Yeah. Not so much.

The end of the game. Tired. Depleted. But, happy & content.

But then I remembered that I get to do it all again this coming weekend.... clearly I have no sense of self-preservation.....

...... or possibly just a very healthy sense of competition.

If I'm Still Awake In 3 Hours, You'll Know Why

Of course, by the time any of you read this you'll be thinking, "of course she's awake. why wouldn't she be?" As I type these words, it's 12:27... oops, make that 12:28am in the blessed a.m. & I fully expect to be summarily & often roused from my beauty sleep a time or 2 (or 10) tonight.

Why?

The Lad.

He's a bit on the sickly side.

Eee-gads. Every time the weather changes, it happens. Last year, I was graced with the ear infection that. wouldn't. die. (seriously. 4 weeks. morphed twice.) We've managed to hop, skip and jump our way through sickly-sick season thus far, but I fear that we're about to get a beating with a brick stick.

...and that hurts.

Jacob is a cuddly, affectionate little boy- just by his nature.

When he's sick. He's SUPER-mondo clingy boy. And Mr. Cranky McCrankerston... who falls apart at the. slightest. thing. for. no. blessed. reason. Yeah, lived with it the last day or so.

And the coughs. Oh, the poor boy. Coughed through his nap yesterday & today. And I can hear the congestion. ::frowny face::

But the best part about sicky-Jacob is the early mornings.... that's usually when his sweet little body decides to go AWOL on me. (ie: early morning puke-fests 2010) Once, he actually coughed so much he threw up. Awesome. ::whimper::

I've kept it at bay thus far....
Oh, please. Please, for the love. Go away coughs and congestion. Find some other smuck to pester.

So, in conclusion. If you see me around tomorrow & I seem... oh, what's the word? Slightly desperate for my caffeine hit??? Now you'll know why. And if you really love me, you'll have that Starbucks I.V. drip line waiting for me.

I Have This Friend

But I've never met her face to face.

How is it that we're friends, you ask? The magical world of the internet. Oh, magical internet. And the magical blogs that bind us.

My sweet bloggy friend, Joanne. The Simple Wife.

She's lovely. And kind. And honest (about her flaws and her high points). And encouraging. The very antithesis of "simple."

And totally part of my little community of "invisible friends"... and I'm part of hers.

She's 38.

She has 2 pre-teen daughters.

She's been married 19 years.

On Tuesday, my friend suffered a stroke.

It was bad.
And I am gutted for her. For her family. My heart grieves. It doesn't matter that I have never seen her face to face. In the years since the invisible, internet howdies were swapped, a friendship was forged & I am heartsick. My young, vibrant friend- with so much life in front of her- is in a hospital bed and she may not wake up. We don't know. We hope. We pray.

It's ana amazing thing, the internet. I've come to know & befriend a vast array of characters. A rather amusing little band of characters. It really is a band of 'invisible friendships'. You can't see them, but they are there. And, perhaps like, 'visible' friendships, you may not see the preciousness in some of them until they are removed.

Just something to think about in your visible and invisible friendships.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Since I'm very tired & Matilda is still beating me like a rented circus monkey, here's a happy little video that will make us all smile. :-)

disclaimer: the car was pulled over & parked when the video was taken.

disclaimer #2:..... I have no idea where the child gets his yen for the dramatic.

Poor Matilda

My back. She hurts.
And as she has been making a crying, gnashing, weeping pest of herself the last week or so, I thought it was only right to give her a name. Welcome her. Bake her cookies. Yes, I tried bribery. Hey, I'd do almost anything for a homemade oatmeal/chocolate chip cookie... it was worth a try with Matilda.

No dice.

Matilda still pains me. She's had a date night every single night this week with Fernando, my heating pad. They get along great... except when Fernando gets a little too hot for her. It happens. He's a hottie, after all. But I'm a very good chaperon & I get them to turn the heat down before anyone gets burned.

Tomorrow I must cajole Matilda into helping me with laundry (blasted laundry fairies skipped over my house this week), finish sorting through 'throw away' & 'give away' piles, etc, etc, etc.

In conclusion, while it may seem strange to some to have named my aching back & my heating pad... and to set them up on dates. It may sound odd to some to bribe or cajole a body part into well-being or something that resembles a pain-free existence.

But...

After a week...
Have I mentioned that my back... it pains me? sigh....

30

Well.

Huh.

So.

I had a birthday here not all that long ago. I am, officially, in my 30's. I haven't decided what I think of this turn of events. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be 30. I mean that. If nothing else, it means that I have managed to not do anything so stupid as to get myself killed. (and with the headlines I read on the news, that's a little bigger of a deal than it was a few years ago...)

No... at present I have been waxing poetic in my mind over turning 30. I suppose its this time of year. It's what happens when one turns a decade age. It's what happens when skinny jeans turn my boot cut jeans into 'mom jeans'....

Its the circle of life, Simba.

I turn 30 as a single mom.
I turn 30 as a woman finishing her UNDER-grad.
I turn 30 as a woman living with her kiddo... and her parents.

le sigh

It happens.

Yes. It. Happens.

But.

I turn 30 as a woman who is finishing her undergrad & is making plans to get her Masters.

I turn 30 with a plan to buy my own home... hey, its a plan. I'm thrilled with a plan.

I turn 30 & I have a son that I adore. And I get to raise him around his grandparents & great-grandmother for a couple of years. And they adore him.

I turn 30 with a church that loves on me & my kiddo.

I turn 30 with friends who make me laugh even on days when I don't want to laugh. On days when I would rather marinate in my anger or self-pity.

I turn 30 with a family who NEVER ceases to amaze me with their ability to love me. And, after 30 years... that's kinda, sorta something.

I turn 30 as the mother of a little boy who... makes my every day.

I turn 30 as the Daughter of a King.


Turning 30 is looking better with every stroke of the key.

So, this week.

So, I'm cleaning and purging this week.

Hold me.

After packing up and condensing my entire life (along with J's) into storage & 2 bedrooms in my parents' house it has become blazingly clear that I have too much crap.

Way too much crap.

Oh, I've purged through my belongings before. There's a couple of boxes to prove that out in the garage... awaiting that phantom garage sale that has never quite happened. Whoops. Anyway. New Rule. If it's in one of my drawers or my closet & I haven't used or worn it in 2 years, it's outa here.

And then maybe, if I'm really, really lucky I'll find an hour (or 20) to go through the boxes upstairs and see what I can donate or sell from those.


My other project is to geek my way through the two new cookbooks that came to live with me this Christmas.
Barefoot Contessa's Back to Basics & the Pioneer Woman Cooks
I am over the moon excited to get my cooking on in the weeks to come. I love love love to cook. And I'm trying to be a better baker. I repeat... trying.

Though the Lemon Poppyseed Cakes I made this year as Christmas presents seemed to go over like gangbusters with my nearest and dearest. Note to self: must add that recipe to my permanent file.

Anyway- how are you spending this last week before 2011??

Christmas This Year

There was quite a bit of this....

There was thankfully, only one instance of this... where he actually put his plan into total action

There was plenty of this

several hours were spent looking at this & not getting enough of it...

seeing secrets shared between two buddies

watching a little boy have 'his' Thomas come stay at his house for Christmas

.... and go out and greet him every night when Thomas, "woke up."

21

Years have a way of passing by lightening fast. So fast that you could get whiplash trying to catch them as they fly by.

I ruminate today on how 21 years could have passed me by so fast. That many years since my granddaddy walked this earth.

Crazy.

Sometimes it seems like its been forever since I saw him.
Ask me another time, and I would swear, with breathless certainty, that it seems like just yesterday.

I miss his face.

Time doesn't heal all wounds, gentle readers. No. No. Sometimes it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. But time puts distance between you and the visceral, knee jerk pain. That goes away. The dull ache. That doesn't.

And, really... would you want it to?
For me, the pain of my grandfather's death is part of the joy of the memory of his life. It's all wrapped up in how very much I loved him. How much I love him today. I think that its okay to say that some pains don't go away. Some sorrow grafts itself into the DNA of who you are.

Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Denying that it exists just seems to... I don't know- rob you of an important part of who you are. Am I saying that one should through themselves into the deep pit of terrible sorrow?... no. There is a balance.

I can say that I miss Winston. So much it hurts, still. But I can talk about that old man with joy. With absolute joy. I am so proud to hold his memory. I can laugh and giggle and smile boldly when I think on the time I had with him. That's the balance. That's how it all wraps itself together.

That's the amazing thing about the passage of time. That something can hurt & bring joy all at the same time.

And, after 21 years- that's what I'm thinking about today.

Break

Welcome back. Or, I suppose I should welcome myself back.

The last few days of my semester were a whip. November flew by like a flash, I tell you. And now, we're neck deep into December.

I'm taking a month or two off- it's a must. My brain went to mush.

The last week or so have been lovely. I've rested. I've relaxed... ish.

I've done a lot of reading.

Let's take a moment, please. I've spent the last 6 months chained to text books, so all my precious Pretties have stacked up beside my bed..... calling to me. Begging me to pick them up. To crack the spine and delve into those pages and pages of rich, wonderful prose.

I wax poetic, I do.

It's been a joy. I reread an old favorite- Christy. I love, love, love that book. And now, I'm rewatching the tv series & the PAX movies. Yes, I have them on dvd. Don't judge. (Dear Dr. MacNeill, I heart you.)

I'm currently reading a biography on Anne Hutchinson- yes, I am a nerd. The next book on the list is about Augustus. After that, is a biography on Amelia Earhart.....

In other news, I am happy to report that I have found my winter purse. Special thanks to SAMS and London Fog for coming together to make this joyous event possible. (Hi, my name's Taylor and I can switch subjects from deep to deeply shallow in a split second.) And I now have 2 (yes) pairs on winter boots. Can I just tell you how deeply my wardrobe rejoices over this?

Lot's of stuff happening this month- I'm hoping I can carve out the time to sit and write more. As in, work on my long neglected writing projects. Sigh. I can also hear the Siren Call of the theatre... it's calling to me. I've been away far too long. I find my center there- I really do. Must stop letting my 'breaks' extend for so long.


I looked back over this post & I can't really say that I wrote anything too world shattering. Oh, well. Maybe next time. Until then.

Thankful

For all that I do not deserve... for all that I have been blessed with.

Taking a couple of days to count my blessings one by one.

Remembering,

"A thankful heart is a happy heart..."

Happy Thanksgiving.

To Those Who Make Lists

I Salute You....

*Vacuum the floors
*mop the floors
*DO MY LAUNDRY
*put away my laundry- wish I didn't have to remind myself to do that
*eat lunch (not looking good today)
*put up Jacob's Christmas tree
*go through Jacob's toys and set aside the baby toys for garage sale
*go through Jacob's sock drawer; they're multiplying like bunnies in there
*balance checkbook
*watch cooking shows I taped on dvr
*watch Sanctuary I taped last Friday
*finish Humanities paper
*finish Humanities project
*study for History test
*call attorney
*dust-ick

By the way, have any of you tried the Zevia Sodas? They have no calories, but they aren't made with artificial sweeteners. I'm liking them thus far, I must say.

If anyone thought my train of thought jumped the track, you're right. But that's the price you pay for reading my wee little bloggy. Till next time!

It Happens

2009

2010Any Questions?

Oh, For the Love of Tom Landry

Dear Dallas Cowboys,

Stop. Just please stop. Take off the pads. Take off the jerseys. Remove yourselves from the field. Holy cow, yall have gone way past the point of imploding & to the point of just plain ridiculous. Yall are making fools of yourselves and humiliating the city you represent.

You look like idiots.

Learn some discipline on and off the field. Learn to respect yourselves. Learn to respect your fellow players, your coaches and your fans. Learn to LOVE the game again. Learn HOW to play football again. And then maybe.... just maybe, you'll earn the right to wear the silver and blue again. Perhaps you'll be worthy of the Landry Legacy.

But right now 'Boys, yall ain't nothing but a mockery.
And you certainly don't deserve to wear those uniforms.
Or stand on the memory of Team Tom Landry built.

Just sayin......

Into the Ring

The blog world is a really amazing little world- I say "little" with a rather large grain of salt. I love the fact that I can connect with all sorts of people from all walks of life. But, some of my favorite people to connect with are people who are bound together by the thin, string of adoption.

It's such a narrow tether- it really is. Sometimes it looks quite transparent & other times, its a rather thick strap and you couldn't miss it if you tried. But so many people, myself included are bound by this string. And I am constantly checking myself with the fact of how many thoughts and journeys and ideas people have about adoption. Some I agree with, wholeheartedly.... some I find myself feeling rather wishy-washy & others I just cannot, for the life of me, agree with.

Now, please don't mistake me. I'm not writing this post to say that I have all the answers. All I have is the sum of my life experiences as a (now) adult adoptee. Oh, yes- that's right. I did mention that I am bound to the community for adoption.

I was adopted at birth. Well, actually, I was bound for the family I call my family before I even opened my eyes on this world. My parents were set to adopt me before the girl who was carrying me inside her gave birth.

And yes, I said the "girl." Because that's what my 'birth mother' was... she was a girl. A child, herself. She didn't WANT to raise a child. Any child at that moment in time. And, at 17, can any of us really blame her? Her family wanted her to keep the child (me).... another member of the family wanted her to give the baby to them. But she wouldn't. She didn't want to be around her child... that wasn't her child.

So, I was adopted into my family.

As I grew up, I knew that I was "adopted."
But I also grew up knowing that.... really, it wasn't all that much of a big deal. No, I didn't grow in the stomach of the woman I call my mom. But at the end of the day, I double dog dare ANYONE to say that I'm not her child.

(and if anyone takes me up on that dare, they'll receive a verbal dressing down, the likes of which they've never received before..... and then they'll have to deal with my mama.)

There were no "celebrate your adoption birthday" days in my life. I have one birthday, thank you. I was brought up knowing that people come into families in different ways- and no one way makes you more "special" or more "different" or anything like that. You're simply a member of your family. Period.

I was NEVER introduced to anyone by my mother (or anyone else in my family) says, "This is Taylor. She's my adopted daughter." EVER. I was just their's.

I belonged to my family. And there was never a question about that. Maybe it was because my mom was very honest with me as I grew up & gave me AGE APPROPRIATE ANSWERS.

There's a concept that I have seen, sadly, lacking. Some parents want to be so honest & 'help their adopted children process their pain' so much that, I think, they are adding to their kids confusion and their 'pain'. I'm not really sure what constantly reminding your kids that they are 'adopted' or 'have another mommy and daddy somewhere' is supposed to do for these kids sense of belonging and well-being. And in some families, where the children are of a different ethnic orgin then their mom & dad.... they know they are different. Really. You don't need to point it out to them.

You might say that I'm not a big fan of "open adoptions." Where did this concept come from? How does this work?

"Come here little Susie. I'm your mom. But this is your other mom. And you love your daddy, but this is your other daddy."

What?!

Kids need identity. They have to have it. They must know who they are and where they belong in this world.
If a child grows up and has questions or curiousity about their 'birth parents', fine. But let that be their journey. I don't like the idea of parents choosing it for them. I really don't.

And now you might ask if I have ever tried to find the woman who gave birth to me. The answer is, no. Why? Well, to be honest- she's really not anything to me. Whoa, harsh, you might be saying... but its the truth. She's not my mother. And I refuse to call her that or to reference her in that manner. That she carried me & gave birth to me, I will be forever grateful.

Because she didn't have to. I was a post-Roe v. Wade baby.

But that's where my feelings end. She's not my family.

And she didn't want the child she carried at 17. She wanted her own life. And I have to respect that. I do respect that.

I am thankful that I was adopted. I love, love, love my family. And they love me. I am a part of a family that I couldn't imagine being without. And, I don't want to imagine life without them. I belong ... here. Am I 'grateful' to my parents for adopting me.... well, no more than any child is grateful for being born. Thankful and grateful are to different things.

And now, as an adult... as a parent myself, I can say that there really isn't a big difference between having a child whom you gave birth to or adopting them. There is not. If it seems that there is- that's something you have perpetuated. Sorry, but its the truth.

So... in conclusion. My two cents for whatever they are worth. Let your children BE your children. Don't make diffferences between them. Don't. Yes, adopting a child from birth is waaaay different from adopting an older child. And yes, an older child or a child that comes from a different ethic origin will have some different needs- THEY are the ones that might need extra care in the form of counseling.

All that is fine- but, please... Please send your sweet children the message every day that they are yours and you are their's. Give them the identity of being your children & of totally and completely belonging.

Thanks for listening.
*****
November is National Adoption Month. There are so many children in foster homes that need the identity that comes from being a part of a family that loves them.

Once a child hits 3, 4, & 5 their chances of finding a family are reduced to crazy small percent rates.

Once they hit 10, they have a next to nothing chance.

No home.
No family.
No mom and dad to love them and to call their own.

Just something to think about.

HIgh & Low of Dallas Sports

The Rangers are going to the World Series.

Wowza.

It's taken a couple of days to process this turn of events. This, crazy cool, turn of events. Those of us here in North Texas have been riding the sports induced high since Friday night- nothing has been able to bring us down or dampen our spirits (not even the high 80 degree weather in, you know, October).

And that's a good thing, cause Monday night marked the end of the Dallas Cowboys season.

Le sigh.

The quarterback has a broken clavicle. I knew it when he went down. Well, I didn't know his clavicle was broken, but I saw the hit & just knew- "Well, that sucks. He's out." Sadly, I was right. Our season has been a brain numbing experience thus far & the writings been on the wall... when you have undisciplined players & coaches who... well, I'm not really sure how to explain our coaches, it's just not a recipe for anything that even comes close to resembling greatness.

But, back to happy thoughts! The World Series starts Wednesday night... the same night as the Fall Festival at my church. Oops. So, it will be a rather quick jaunt through the Kid Fest & then back home for the baseball game. And those of you who remember last years costume debacle with Jacob, I must report that its really no better this year. He'll be wearing a Halloween shirt.

For Your Information

I Would Like...

1. it to be 10-15 degrees cooler. It's fall, for the love of all things good & right and true. I know, I know- I live in Texas, what do I expect? But a girl can dream, can't she?

2. for the Rangers to win their game on Friday & go to the World's Series. Please, oh, Please, oh, Please.

3. to have this last 10-15 pounds magically disappear from my butt.

4. to find the perfect berry lipstick

5. for pizza to have no calories.

6. to have the power to vanquish crappy drivers.

7. for a million dollars to magically appear in my bank account.

8. for laundry to put itself away, ugh.

9. to be in charge of television programing. Oh, the power. But, I promise I would use this power for good & not evil- well, I suppose that would greatly depend on your pov, cause I can promise you their would be a whole lot less 'reality' tv on the air & shows would be on at times & on days that, you know, actually made sense.

10. regular Dr. Pepper with imperial pure cane sugar to have no calories

and that's my wish list. Please make a note.

The GREAT State Fair

.................
oh, it's a grand time to be a Texan, I tell you. The State Fair of Texas is one of those beloved traditions that runs through my veins... and it runs deep.

It's the start of fall, it is. The Fair heralds the beginning of your Intrepid BloggerGirl's very favorite season. It's the time when my beloved Horns kick up dust with those northern aggressors known as the Sooners (icky!).

One of the greatest parts of the Fair is the fried food- oh, my heart does flutter. This year all I tried from the fried bounty that was offered was the Fried Margarita.... wasn't that bad. Kinda like eating a funnel cake & drinking a 'rita on the rocks. But you had to eat it fast, or it got soggy- texture! icky!

Yes, I did get a fried s'more again this year, thankyouverymuch. Those tasty, fried nuggets of wonderfulness soothe my soul and kinda complete me (culinary speaking, of course). ::sigh:: Can it please be next year again? Please?

Oh! and if you are a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan (I say lifelong, hoping that the people I am speaking to remember life BEFORE the man who fired Coach Landry) and you missed the Coach Tom Landry exhibit- shame. shame on you. It was really, really wonderful. Walking through & seeing into the life of the man who was such a fixture & a role model for so long was awesome. Coach Landry was one of a kind- a kind we need more of in this world, I think.

(.... and on a totally shallow note, a kind that the current Dallas Cowboys could benefit greatly from. Just sayin'.)

Anyway- enjoy some picture from the 2010 State Fair of Texas.


Yeah, so this was supposed to be a tender, sweet moment where we caught the youngling taking his next step into the big wide world.... sharing a Fletcher's Corny Dog. However, it was kinda, sorta ruined by the large man in the yellow shirt who greets the guests to the Fair.

Yeah, him. Big Tex. Our annual "Smile & Stand in front of Big Tex so everyone knows we are at the Fair" pic. Not so much. Tex started talking again. Jacob tried to tree himself in my hair & we had to motor. Rapidly.

HE RODE SOME RIDES!!!!!! (ahem) Sorry. I love rides. My baby rode some rides. His mommy beamed with pride. The End.

Well, almost the end... there were a few more photo ops!

The List

So, I've been up to my (not at the moment) well-manicured eyebrows in my undergrad studies here lately. As of this moment in time I have 2 papers, 1 project, & 2 tests left in my 'official' semester. My hope is to plow through those & get another class (or 2) squeezed in.

And then there's the usual, every day stuff that goes into my days & weeks- there's MOPS, church & serving the nursery once or twice a month. There's the never ending loads of laundry. The dinners that must get made- I feed myself, J, my mother & father and my grandmother. I love that. Cooking relaxes me- but it takes time and thought, to be sure. There are playdates with my best 'mommy friend' Faith & her little girl, L. And then, there are grown-up playdates with my peeps on those occasional nights or days when Jacob is with his dad.

.... and then, shepherding Jacob through his toddler & pre-school years. :-) That's my favorite job.

All this to say that there's a stack of books by my bed that are begging.... no, pleading with me to pick them up and crack open the spine. It's tragic, I tell you. (I won't even get started on the mass pile-up that's on my dvr right now. That would be a whole other, whiny post.)

So, I thought I would grace you with my abandoned reading list. Check them out & feel free to read any of them & tell me what you think... it might be a while before I get to them!

1. The Hole in the Gospel- Richard Stearns
2. Atlas Shrugged- Ayn Rand
3. 1776- David McCoullough
4. Arguing with Idiots- Glenn Beck
5. East to the Dawn (The Life of Amelia Earhart)- Susan Butler
6. The Lincolns- Daniel Mark Epstein
7. The Last Days of the Romanovs- Helen Rappaport
8. Mrs. Dalloway- Virginia Woolf
9. How to Eat- Nigella Lawson (this is an on-going reading project, to make my way through!)
10. Call of Duty- Lt. Lynn "Buck" Compton
11. Vanity Fair- Willliam Makepeace Thackeray
12. Augustus- Anthony Everitt
13. The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood- Sears

Yes, that's the gamut of reading tastes- fiction, history, biography, auto-bio, cooking, health.
What about you? What's on your reading list?

Think of This as a Public Service Anouncement

..... for your culinary health.



A few tasty suggestions for your dining pleasure in the DFW, Texas area. :-)



Chuy's- do I really need to explain this? I heart this place. The salsa is kinda like chunky pico. Yummy and fresh. And the margaritas are darn tasty too. Just sayin'.



Papasito's- yeah, the Godfather of tasty Tex-Mex.... which is kinda odd since the people who own the chain are Greek, I believe.



Jorg's- if you want good, and I mean great, Austrian food... go here now.



Urban Crust- My favorite pizza in the world. Yeah, it's that good. I recommend the "Shea's East Side" pizza. Oh, and the "Hearts of Plano" salad. It's big enough for two.



Ajisen- it's kinda like my own personal "Cheers", only it's a Japanese restaurant. I go for the sushi & I'm never disappointed. Go at lunch time and try the lunch roll combo- 2 rolls, salad & miso soup for $10. It's in Richardson, in Little Chinatown off Greenville road.



Buco de Beppo- yes, it's an Italian chain. But, darn it, it's good food. And the family style makes me happy... it makes me think of my Grandma's house when there's lots of food and family... and that just gives me all kinds of warm fuzzies on the inside.

And this concludes your PSA for today. Have a lovely day!

and go eat some great food! :-)

A Trip in Pictures

Here are just a few pictures from our Labor Day trip. We had fun- I love Austin. I really do.


This is what happens when some drunk in the hotel pull the fire alarm at 5am.... and it get stuck in the on position & goes off twice. The first time, J fell back to sleep... the 2nd time, not so much. He ended up in the bed with me. (Special thanks to my dad for snapping this less than charming picture of me. That's what happens when you and your 2 year old share a hotel room with your mom and dad.)

In line at the Oasis- we waited quite a long time for a table. And then considered adopting into the family the waiter who bumped us out of the line & sat us in his station. Bless him. Bless him.

J and my Dad at the Oasis.

The obligatory picture of a sleeping 2 year old in his carseat. He fought each and every nap. The child didn't want to miss one thing.

Inside the Texas State Capital. Remind me to dedicate an entire post to the several pictures it took just to get this one, semi-decent picture. It makes me totally ok with the fact that my child is not looking at the camera.

If you get a chance to tour the Bob Bullock museum- take the time. It was really wonderful.

Yes... Just take a moment & share in my joy. I took J to the UT campus. It was a proud moment for me.

My new favorite picture!

We're Still Here

Watching twisters on live tv is amazing television, I tell you. Tornado drills are also lots of fun too. There's nothing like gathering together in a very tiny bathroom to bring you together as a family...

... and make you realize that you do not have a current (read: complete or anything) disaster kit.

Put that on my to-do list.

And for the record- may I just state my amazement at having several twisty twisters touch down around north Texas because of a Tropical Storm? Crazy. And ALL THE FLOODING. Thank you so much Tropical Storm Hermine for dumping all that rain on my home state. Holy Noah and his Traveling Ark, Batman.

From this point on, there's not going to be much of a flow going on to this post.

We went to Austin for Labor Day. I took my Lad to the Holy Land- I mean, the University of Texas campus. :-) We went to the stadium for a photo-op & he cheered for the Horns & their mighty school crest. It brought a tear to my eye. I'll have an Austin trip post soon (I hope) complete with pictures. And some restaurant reviews. There was some tasty, tasty chow that was consumed on that trip!

I need a new purse. I have retired the pretty, pretty pink purse for the fall (sad day) & I don't love any of my three current options. I think a trip to Charming Charlie is in order for yours truly.

I need some signature necklace pieces for the fall. (and when I say "need", I totally mean "really want")

Does anyone else love those chunky, flow-y sweater? Love.

I also really need a couple of new ballet-flat'esqe shoes. Hopefully in animal print. (and some high-heels in that print would be great too.)

I do now declare that a trip to Charming Charlie is in order.

Rainy, Rainy, Rainy

Yes, you may have guessed from the oh so clever post title, it's a rainy, rainy day. Actually, it's been a rainy couple of days. Tropical Storm Hermine is making her presence known even here in north Texas. We've got so darn much rain that there's been flash flooding all over the place & now, there are tornado warnings dotting all around where I live.

Am I taking adequate and immediate shelter with my loved ones? Umm, no. I'm perched on my bed "writing a paper", watching Pete Delkus & blogging. :-) Why? Cause it's what I do. And, since there's not a warning on the exact spot where I live, I feel rather safe at the moment.

But yall know what's totally bizarre? Listening to Steve McCauley on the phone on Channel 8 saying, "It's on the ground. The tornado is on the ground."...... he's currently chasing it. Well, I hope he's seeking shelter- cause I'm watching it on the tv & it's a little freaky.

and mesmerizing..... (thank you, HD Chopper 8)

I used to make fun of my mother when I was younger- she would tell me 'twister' stories & one in particular made me shake my head- she stood in her front yard and watched the twister. I could not fathom that. And now, here I am- totally mesmerized by this.

Here's a Few Things I Would Never Want to Hear When Anywhere NEAR a Wall Cloud
1. it's closing in on us
2. multiple vortices
3. lots of damage
4. debris that's being knocked around & lifted up
5. cars driving TOWARDS it
6. transformer fire

Crazy People.

A Reply

In waxing poetic in my last post, some hurt feelings have been uncovered. I want to address those feelings publicly. It seems like the right thing to do. If this post doesn't apply to you, then come back later. If it does, then please read on & then let's just us talk.

To Anonymous-

I suppose you would fall into the "I think we got our signals mixed and crossed badly somewhere along the way" category. In my blundering way, I suppose I was trying to give any and all space from my drama. I know that the path I am on is uncomfortable for some people & I have tried to be respectful of that.

I have probably also been oversensitive to varying degrees as well. But hurting and/or pushing dear loved ones out of my life has never been my intent. I am so often guilty of trying to read too much into the intent and the motives of what people are doing/saying/etc, instead of just coming out and talking with them about it. It's a massive, awful fault of mine.

To any of my dear friends that have been pushed away these last months, I am so sorry. Please forgive my blundering. I love my friends so dearly & I hurt to know that I have caused pain... I hope that we can have some restoration of our friendships, dear friend(s).

Love,
Me

A Somewhat Syrup-y Stream of Thought

I do, for the most part, try and keep my little on-line world fairly light. But I've had several times over the last months to ruminate on a certain subject. Nothing terribly terrible or anything such as that, but more serious than I normally write.

Every since I entered the new phase of my life- single motherhood, I have come to love and cling to and appreciate my friends. Not my acquaintances, mind you- my friends. Massive life upheavals have a funny, funny way of assisting you in weeding through those two labels. Let's face it, divorce sucks the suck of the doomed & not everyone can (will) continue along with you.

But then you have your friends.

And I have a handful of wonderful, magical friends. They pray for me, pray with me- they help me out with my kid. They laugh and play with me. And, most all of- they have stuck beside me. Some are old friends & some I have had the great pleasure of cultivating our friendship since the separation & divorce fiasco started.

Not really sure where I'm going with this, except to say that friends make your life so much better. They enrich it in ways that you could not even fathom until you start to see it.

In which I Remind You that I Have a 2 Year old

I have had every intention of regaling you with oodles of tales from Jacob's 2nd birthday party.

No, really. I have.

However, every time I sit down to write a long, loving post- I don't. The 999 other things that clang and clamour around my heels get more attention. I will take a few moments to tell you that, it was lots of fun. Thomas the Train themed. And, yes- he loved it. Jacob kept pointing to the faces of Thomas and his engine friends saying, "See? Mommy see?!"

And he may have hit the Thomas the Train mother load for presents- that he conned his older cousin, Julian into opening a couple of.

He got toys for the bath (or pool, as he decided), toys to play outside, toys to play inside- toys that came in a set (not 1, but 2 Thomas the Train play sets, thank you very much. One with batteries and one without) and toys that came all on their lonesome. He got a new toy truck looking Little People thing (I'm a girl, don't judge). He got a new storybook Bible & some new dvds starring his favorite Bears, an animated Bible figures & (of course) his greatly beloved vegetable people. The boy even scored a pirate ship of the Veggie Tales Pirates Who Don't Do Anything fame. Pretty sweet.

I had a house full of friends and family, lots of crumb crunchers (that's code for children..... who somehow managed not to spill ANY punch all day long. That I know of.)- lots of food and lots of laughter and fun. We ate, we swam, we unwrapped presents, we played, we had cake....

and.

I was exhausted by the end of the day.

...... and promising myself that, next year, we would be celebrating in the company of that overgrown rat who serves the pizza.

All I have to do is get my son over his phobia of the Cheese-rat between then and now.

Another Story Involving the Gym... Kinda

It starts with, I was on the treadmill at the gym on Wednesday. (as all great epic rants do...)

Let me set the scene for you- It's about 2:30-3pm. I finally got to the gym (yippee!) and started my treadmill routine. I have my beloved iPOD (no, I don't have a name for her.... suggestion?) on & turned to my work-out mix and my earbuds and in my ears. I start up the treadmill & look up at the tv screens in front of me.

There's not a lot to choose from- but watching something other than other people sweat does make the time go faster. One of the tellys is tuned to E!.... I recognized that, okay, I'll watch that. (I'm embarrassed to report that I watched the 6am news with rapt attention the other morning while on the treadmill.)

What was on? Khloe & Kourtney (or however you spell their names) take Miami..... a word to the citizens to Miami..... take your city back- quick.

Anyway. Oh, my golly sam lawnmowers!

These chicks are about my age & I was thoroughly embarrassed for them. No class. None.

The way they talked to each other- YIKES! It wasn't just rude or mean, it was nasty (as in, ewwww! Why in the name of green, green grass would you say something like that TO YOUR SISTER?!). They bleeped out the words, but you knew EXACTLY what these girlies were saying. Now- my family is not Puritanical by any means.... but if ANY female spoke to another member like that- there'd be a come to Jesus meeting. Abruptly.

But the moment that made me stop my treadmill was when one of the girls didn't just flash.... oh no, she showed her who-who on NATIONAL TELEVISION! For an extended time. (And then we were treated to a whole storyline revolving around Missy's little missy.) Yes, it was blurred, but are you kidding me? And that didn't embarrass or humiliate her AT ALL. She said something far less .... public was the most humiliating moment of her life.

What an after school special.

And I watched this thinking, I'm not that old. I'm 29!!!!!! I'm about these girls' ages! And as I watched this, I became my mother- I really wanted to rattle those girls' teeth (especially the one who is a mother of a little baby boy herself...... oohhhh, I really want to shake her till her teeth rattle.)

And here's the thing... I remember watching E! when I was a teen.... I watched it when I was in my early 20's... NOT ALL THAT LONG AGO, thank you very much. So I know girls and young(er) women watch this- and I just wonder what they are getting from this? Are they getting that these girls are sorta, kinda not who they should be looking to as behavioral role models? OR (my thinking) are they thinking that, this is normal? This IS what they should model themselves after?

After school special, indeed.

Thus Far Today

6 am: I woke up. On purpose. (yes, me.)

6:15am: I left for the gym. I was on the treadmill by 6:25 am. I live about 2 minutes away from my gym & at 0'dark thirty in the blessed morning, that's a darn good thing. I logged 45 minutes on the over-sized gerbil track and was back home eating my toast and Greek yogurt by 7:30am.

Monette and I settled in to watch the new Army Wives from this past Sunday night.... Who's Monette? That's my dvr? Have I never introduced you? How rude of me. (Yes, I named my dvr. We have a close, personal relationship. I'm a single mom with a 2 year old & I'm trying to ge through school.... I depend on Monette. It seemed only right to give her a name.)

I even got in last night's eppi of The Closer before Jacob woke up.

That's all the good news. The bad news is that I flaked out when just a little bit after Jacob went down for his nap.

But I'm awake now &, as penance, I started a load on laundry.

Oh, and in the between Jacob waking up this morning and going down for his nap was a really fun trip for me through hell.... otherwise known as the construction work going on HWY 75 in McKinney, Texas... and buildings that exist only on mapquest. Multiple detours. Frustration. Gnashing of teeth. Great confusion. Retracing steps. Finally giving up and going home, but stopping through the Chik-fil-A drive through first.

Because nothing soothes the soul like the Original Chik-fil-A sandwich & those 2 crucial pickles... especially when you got up a 6am to (re)start going to the gym.