The First Day of Pre-School

Yesterday was the short one's first (real) day of pre-school. Sigh. My baby is a 4 year old. A child. He has his own sassy opinions. He can dress himself. Brush his teeth. Walk to and from the car & everywhere else (except when he decides that his legs or feet are broken & he cannot possibly walk another step, because 'Oh, the humanity! It's just too hard! Someone pick me up and carry me!')

So, yes. He started real-live, honest to goodness pre-school yesterday.

And yes, I made him stand in front of the front door with the '1st day of pre-school' sign. Oh, yes I did.

But, all he was really concerned about was his new 'pack-pack.' He's been asking me every. single. day. If today was the day that he would be allowed to wear it. He was thrilled when I told him yesterday morning that It Was the Day.

Who is this little kid? And where did my little baby boy go???

And, of course. A picture with his new teacher, Mrs. R.

I asked her how he did when I picked him up after school.
"Umm, well. He had some problems following directions." (poor lady. I think she thought I was going to get mad at her for saying that.)

(I laughed... to myself. Not out loud. That might be rude.) "Yeah, I kinda thought so. Just keep on him."

I feel a little badly for his teacher. She seems sweet and very lovely. And, I have a feeling that my little ray of sunshine is going to drive her crazy. Hopefully, she'll get his number quickly. (crosses fingers)
**
He's an interesting little guy, my off-spring. He's funny and outgoing as all get out. He's sweet as sugar. But. He's also strong willed as all get out. And stubborn as a mule. And on a mission in life (thus far) to rule. And, if he even so much as *thinks* that he can gain control. You're toast. Oh, and that independent streak that's about a mile wide? That will serve him quite well one day. But today? It's all about taming & civilizing the little whirling ball of boy.

I love that kid.
And, I'm crazy proud of him. And to be the one person in this world he calls, "Mommy."

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He Joins Me

It's 5 Minute Friday. (go Here to get all the intel on just what 5 Minute Friday is all about. And, while you're at it, I highly recommend reading Lisa-Jo's (I call her by her first name, as if I know her personally. Ah, the internet!) blog and then read some of the other blogs that will be linked up.)

This Friday's Prompt: Join

Go

Off and on all through my son's sweet little life, he's been joining me in my bed to sleep at night. Sometimes when he's sick. Sometimes when he's ha a bad dream. Most often, when he's simply gotten up in the middle of the night for no good reason and is wandering the house.

But lately, oh, since he turned the ripe old age of 4- it's changed. He joins me in my bed almost every night he's with me. I don't quite know what's changed or what truly started this new little bedtime ritual of his. But 9 times out of 10 if you're looking for Jacob at bedtime, you'll find him nicely tucked into "his" spot in my bed.

Sometimes we watch the Rangers game. Some times we watch Star Wars.

But, every night. He looks up at me with those bright blue eyes and says, "I like you Mommy." "I like you too, Jacob."

There will be a pause. And usually he'll hug me.
"I love you, Mommy."
"I love you, too"

And I don't mind so much the jumping and kicking and rolling around. And feeling like I'm sleeping with a wildabeast.

Because he's just 4 for now. And he won't want to join me in bed one day (nor should he!). He won't want to join me for much in days that are coming far, far to quickly.

But, for now. He does.
Stop

What I've Loved Wednesday

So, I've decided to start a new trend around these parts.....

::drumroll please::

What I've Loved Wednesday

..... in which I list out 5 things every (you guessed it!) Wednesday that I've loved. It might be something I've seen around the internet. It might be something I've read or something I'm reading. It might be a story that from my life. Or a picture. There are no rules..... except for the whole, 5 part.

So, without further waiting.........

1) This video.
Call Me Maybe- Steelers Training Camp 2012
I love the Steelers. And, I don't care if I'm 31.... I'm not quite done with Call Me Maybe this summer....

2) Jacob finished his first round of swimming lessons this past Tuesday. He went from not being able to swim AT ALL... to being able to swim like a little fish. I'm really loving that.


And... He got a ribbon. We both really loved that!

3) I managed to get my eyebrows waxed & a manicure this past week. Hey, it's the little things! (my nails are all the same shape & a lovely color of pink= happy me)

4) I think.... think.... maybe... just maybe. I've decided on a new preschool for Jacob. Don't quote me on that. But maybe.

5) Arnold Palmers..... the drink. Not the golfer. Not to say that the gentleman isn't a lovely man, I've never met him! I just really, really love the tasty, tasty, magical combination of ice tea & lemonade! It has been my summertime go-to drink. (and I really love that I can go thru pretty much any fast food joint and they will make it for me!)
Happy Wednesday Y'all!

In Which I Talk About Compassion

So.

I have been going back and forth with myself about writing about Compassion Intl.

I think it might go without saying that I support them. I have a Compassion child. I have links to them here on the blog. I tweet out links and posts on the Twitter. 

But.

But.

I haven't really talked about it.

About the little girl in Ecuador that I'm growing a relationship with through prayer and support. About how it is so worth 'sacrificing' the extra fast food run and Starbucks drive thru... to make sure that I have the support money to send to Compassion for L. And I hate how snarky it could sound putting the word sacrifices in "". But really. when I think about it. I have food at home. I have plenty of my beloved coffee at home. I have a closet FULL of clothes and shoes.

L ... not so much.

Her parents'... not so much. They worry every day about keeping their daughter (and their other children) Alive.

I don't really have that worry with Jacob. I know that I have the means and ability to provide my son's basic needs. Right now.

I can send that $38 a month. And write L letters. And send stickers and paper dolls. And... perhaps, even more importantly, get Jacob involved... get him to "write" letters and to draw her pictures. I can pray for her and her family (and community) every day. I have the power to invest in her life.

I don't have much. But I can do much with what I have. If I'm faithful with it.

Pasta night

Tonight was pasta night up here in this crib. And, while I hate to toot my own horn too much... I will in this one case! I make really, really good pasta.

But don't take word on it....


'see my pasta? It's so delicious!'


The pictures don't even cover half the glee and unrestrained passion this boy exhibits for his pasta.


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Epic of Fail

Have you ever failed so specifically & so spectacularly that you actually hear what the other person thinks of you? Have you every failed so much that you can hear God telling you how ashamed He is of you?
That as the words come out of your mouth... that you sooo intended to hurt. Oh, yes you did. And, as they found their mark- they were returned.

And. You wanted to vomit.

Because you started to see how very stupid you are. And how much hurt you Are causing?

And... you still want to vomit.

And. You are so ashamed that you resorted to anger & the very most awful words you could possibly fling at the other person.... just because. Just because you couldn't summon your own thoughts & you felt threatened. and. You couldn't be adult enough to say, "You, know .... I need to get my words together. Give me some time."

Dear God.

Yeah.

That would be me and my last hour.

Confession? I suck. I really do.
And ... I really hate myself for the damage that I've caused.

So Far.... its been the Champ

So. The youngling received a with InnoTab for his 4th birthday this year. Complete with a Cars2 game to go with it. (thank you, Aunt Charlotte & Uncle Butch)

He calls it his "iPAD".... possibly he's spent some time around other people's iPAD's before. :-)




I have to admit. It's pretty cool. (and that's a quote) Jacob LOVES playing on it & the Cars2 plug in game thingy. (Wow, aren't I hi-tech?) He's begging for the Mickey Mouse game & for me to see if there's a Peter Pan or Remy game. I'd say, he loves it.

The only problem is...... getting him OFF the game. :-)


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His birthday dinner

Well, we went to Buca di Beppo for Jacob's birthday dinner. He's my little pasta eater- so it was a no brainer. This child can eat triple his weight in pasta. Any pasta.
(though, I do admit he has a certain fondness for spaghetti and meatballs at Buca and *my* own red sauce and rigatoni)

And, we always have good food & a good time at Buca di Beppo. 

I do think that it was a hit.
We branched out a wee bit from the traditional 'red sauced' pastas.
Chicken Carbonara
and
Penne San Remo
....
Yum.

Above: On the top, Jacob giving his approval.
Bottom left: The birthday boy and his Mom-Mom (his grandmother)
Bottom right: Me and 'Mamer' (aka: *my* grandmother Winnie)


I've said it before. I'll say it again. This boy is an Olympic champ at pasta eating. Is that a competitive game? It should be. And I've got the Gold Medal winner right here.



And why, yes! We did have them come out and sing 'Happy Birthday', Buca style to the young lad. I didn't get a video of that.... but I did get pictures of him enjoying his tasty chocolate cake.




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He Really Is Listening

I posted this on Facebook last night....

"At lunch today after church, Jacob asked if we were going to thank Jesus for our food. I said, of course. Then I asked him if he would like to pray. He said yes & insisted that we all hold hands & prayed, "Dear Jesus, thank you for our food. And for a good day. And for Sunday class. And for our food. And a good day. And Sunday class. AMEN.""

I started thinking this morning. He really is listening. To everything that's going on around him. The conversations he hears. The songs on the radio. The tv shows that are really just back ground to me.... they are making an impression on him. And.... as I am so likely to do, I started to obsess over every. little. detail for a few minutes and spun myself into a nice little mini-freak out that I could not possibly control everything that was pouring into his sweet little soul! And what would that mean for him?! What kind of mother am I? I must be vigilant! At all times! He's counting on me!

........


And then. I stopped. I took a breath. 


And I remembered that I cannot possibly control every little thing that pours into his sweet soul.

There. I said it.

I can do my best. I can guard his hedges to the best of my ability & pray to the LORD to do the rest. I can commit to disciplining him in the ways of the LORD. I can commit to teaching him love, honor, respect... and a myriad of other things that I dearly want my son to learn.

And.

When, it's hard. When he tries me at every. single. turn. (cause, he's a kid) I pray. Oh, I pray to God that He will work it all out for us, cause we love Him.

And. Then, Sunday. I got a glimpse that He is.

Enough

I so much want to do more and be more. To get out of my house more. To take my little boy out. To be able to leave the house without a second thought.
But. I can't. My gandmother can't be left home alone anymore. Her diabetes and her dementia have robbed her and us of that now. Its robbed us of, really, her.
And sometimes, when her attititude truly sucks & she's crazy and mean. And my son is going bonzo, locked up in the house. And I'm going bonzo locked up in the house- I've had Enough. And I resent it all. There are days when I've had enough of the blood sugars & the locked up medicine & the ugly attutude and words that come out of my grandmothers mouth. Of the harsh relationship between my mother and my grandmother. Of having the trade off baby sitting shifts over an 85 year old woman.
And there are days that it takes about all we have the make it to bedtime.
But, that can be enough. Just to make it. Just to know that we survived another day. And tomorrow will be better. And my son is now at the age where he'll remember the fun times with his great-grandmother. When there's laughter at the back yard pool- and my mother, grandmother & I are watching my son show off his new swimming skills. And ... that can make it enough.

I think maybe, when you can find the joy (no matter where it is, how small a sliver) it becomes enough.

Let's go to the movies

So, the short one (who's over half my height at a week till 4 years old) and I went to the Studio Movie Grill here is Dallas on Saturday.

We've been watching more & more 'real' movies here lately at the homestead and Jacob has sat through them all. Loving every minute & moment. I thought that maybe, just maybe, the time had come to re-introduce him to the movie theater experience. (remind me to tell yall all about our $movie viewing of Kung Fu Panda 2..... he hated it when it came out.... loves it now)

The movie? Ice Age: Continental Drift
..... Jacob loved it. (did I mention he's basically...4?)




Waiting in line. Jacob was more than ready to ditch the line & hit the theater at this point. We're not quite at the level of understanding 'waiting our turn'..... oh well. (and yes, the picture quality stinks.... we were standing in front of sun filled, glass windows. Oy.)




We sat down & someone who shall remain Jacob looked waaaaaay to big for his little britches. Seriously, I took the picture & looked at it & promptly wanted to break into a rousing chorus of "Sunrise. Sunset." My baby is growing up. Meep.




Watching previews for the first time. (yes, I had to document it) He had a Sprite & had ordered mini-corn dogs by this time. And he was feeling VERY grown up, let me tell you.




But, really, all he really, really cared about was ordering "copcorn" at the "mobie theatre"...... And yes, I let him hit the little red button to call the people back to our seats after we had eaten our food. Was the tiny tot impressed with himself? ..... I believe the above picture speaks for itself.




And here we have the obligatory "end of movie picture"... picture. with the 'copcorn'.... of course.




This picture? Just cause I can. :-)

What did the mommy think of the movie? Well, there were moments of some great one-liners & character exchanges. But. But....... there was a moment into the movie when (almost as one) all the parents started pulling out their iPHONES.... anything to keep the brain cells active. It wasn't as funny or as fresh as the 1st Ice Age. However, all the kids in the audience (my mini-me, included) loved it.

And.... I think that's what matters the most. 

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The 4th

I think this pic pretty much sums it. Happy 4th.... A day late.


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I made these tasty, tasty meatballs last week. Oh, my. Yes. Behold! I meatloaf that I can actually cook & eat. Yea! They cook, all the way through & I can cut them up to avoid any unsettling dinner time texture issues!

But, really. Seriously. Best meatloaf-y tastiness EVAH.


I made just half the recipe. Cause really.... three adults. 1 child. Yeah.



BUT. But.... we made the full recipe for the sauce. Yes, indeed-y. With quite a loose hand shaking in the hot sauce... cause, um. Yes, please. Even the young lad enjoys some spice in his meals. Makes me so very, very proud.

And. Someone helped make the sauce. Yes. He was so very, very proud. And he ate. And ate. And then the young Jedi ate.... some more.

Yum.



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What Have I Been Doing?

Mostly, playing :-)




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Playing with New Apps

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What Happens when You're Away from the Blog

They go and CHANGE EVERYTHING.

I logged in today, thinking I would do some long neglected blogging & have spent none of this time, you know... actually blogging (except, ya know... right now). Cause I've been trying to figure out the new Blogger Dashboard.

This is going to take a while to learn. 

Ah well, I would hazard a guess that its what I deserve... I am going to put a blog app on my phone. I can't always get to the computer- but I always have my phone... my pretty pretty phone. (or leash depending on when you talking to me about it) 

Oh, that reminds me- I have a new phone.... I bought myself an iPHONE4.... yes, "just the 4." For an extra $100 and three days waiting, I do not need Siri. Really. I would never use it. But, I loooove this phone. It's pretty & white and I really need to get a new case for it. 

And yes, very strict keep-your-hands-off-my-phone-little-boy rules have gone into place around here. Others may let the crumb-cruncher play with their phones. But I can't so easily replace mine. And I will not have my phone suffer death by almost 4 year old. 

Okay, enough playing around for today- I need to adjust the ice on my shin splints. Ugh. Another story for another post.

Too Much

As in too much stuff.

I have it. And it's driving me crazy. Slowing crawling towards me, trying to squeeze the life out of me. Meep! You wouldn't think that, between me & the short person, that we would accumulate as much 'stuff' as we have... but darn it if we haven't managed it.

And I've stands it till I can't stands it no more.
..... (yes, I know that was a terrible sentence. on purpose.)

Operation Get Rid of All This Crap has begun, people. Oh, it's begun. And there's no mercy. No quarter being shown. If it's not pretty, useful, joy inducing...... or hasn't (you know) been used in (oh, I don't know) 3-5 years (!!!), it's outa here!!!!!

And let me tell ya, something has gotta be down about the clothes closets.... that's all I'm sayin'. Way too many clothes. Way. Too. Many. Clothes. Seriously, what 3 year old boy needs that many clothes?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ha!

No, really. He's better dressed than I am.

And the toys. Sigh. The toys. I already went through those. He's getting a savings account for college for his 4th birthday... that's it. Maybe a library card. No more toys. They are taking over. One Thomas the Tank engine at a time.

Though, I'm not much better. The books, the shoes, the boxes of stuff that's stored in two places. Ack!

Yup. It's time to start getting rid of stuff.
Somebody call Goodwill.
.... and get me a box.

Bad Blogger

I am. Really. Sigh.
There's no excuse for it.
I'm going to be better.
I promise.
It's my Resolution this year.

Blog More.



(confession.... the pictures are from November.... Meep!)

Dragon Child

So, I have a confession. For most of my sweet little life I have had a wee (read:massive) battle that I have waged with myself. At different points of my life I've been better (and worse) at battling this particular dragon.

My Temper. Oh, dear Lordy, my temper. I hate it. I really do.
It has really, never served me well. Truth me told, I have been the servant of my temper. Because once my temper is unleashed- I am a slave to it. It just rolls off of me. Like some kind of crazy hot steam off a mountain.

It's a flashpoint. An ugly. Nasty flashpoint. And it shames me.

Why am I writing about this today? Because I failed epically last night in controlling my temper. Oh yes, the dragon child came out the play. Much to my shame. Words have power. The words that were spoken to me- the built up the my frustration. And the words that I hurled in my anger... that I should not have said.

I know better than to let my mouth control my actions. And it hurts my heart that I failed another person so dreadfully.

Sigh.

The Potty & the Training

(note: if a blog post about potties... or pee. or poop... or any of that business bugs you... You would do well to move along.)

It might really be happening, yall.

I'm kinda (like) totally afraid to jinx it in anyway by getting to excited... but... I think the Boy is well on his way to being potty-trained.

Praise the Lord. Pass the tax rebate & Amen. Hallelujah. and Cheers.

Seriously.

After the spring & summer (and partial fall) of "no-I-don't-think-I-need-to-poop-EVER-again-thank-u-very-much"..... I was starting to have my doubts. Needless to say, we were NOT potty trained when the 1st day of playschool rolled around in September.

So, we had to be demoted down from the 3year old class (J is 3) and into the 2/3 year old class.

(I had many dark thoughts about this. Really. Can anyone tell me why the push to get the kids potty-trained *COMPLETELY* by the age of 3? Or they can't go into the "regular" class? I don't get it. Didn't then. Still don't now.)

Anyway. Moving on.

Sometime in the last month or so, the light just clicked on. The child is pee'ing in the potty. And wearing 'unnawears'. He trots his little self into the bathroom & sits on his little Elmo potty.... usually after looking at me and saying, "I'll be right back Mommy. Just a minute."

Biggidy Butt.
... my one concern- getting him to remember to actually *tell* people that he has to go the potty. We are a shade on the independent side around here. And it might kinda, sorta bug us when we aren't able to do everything by ourselves when we think we should. (we're working on that)

So proud of him. And he's proud of his Thomas the Train Underwear.
~now, if I can just get him to poop in the potty instead of Pull-ups.... which, right now is what he's insisting is the only right & honorable receptacle that poop can go into. (we're working on that too)

Thanks for the Memories

Peace out, Aggs.
Love, The Mighty Texas Longhorns.
:-)

(I have never loved field goals more than I did this past Thanksgiving.)

She Knew What She Wants...

And she wanted to go to the Fair and see the Bangles.

And a very sweet guy took her. Hee! God Bless my sweet 80's childhood and God Bless sweet E, who doesn't mock (too much).

The Bangles were great. Check it off my bucket-list, thank you very much. And the crowd. Oh, bless my heart- the crowd. The women, my age- who were little girls when the Bangles were at the top of their popularity... the women who were a weee bit older.... and the little girls in the audience who weren't even born. Oh, my.

I have rarely felt so young and so old at the same time. (and I think that's the first of many, many times in the future.)

me and E... and Big Tex

waiting on the Bangles. one of us is way more excited than the other.

(this has nothing to do with the Bangles. It's the Fried S'more.... my fav Fair food. And deserving of a yearly picture.)

The Bangles!!!

Running from Zombies

So.

Yeah, bad Bloggergirl. I know. I know. It's been a crazy month. I promise to get back on the blogging band waggon. Really!

Did I mention that I am signed up to run in a 1/2 marathon in March? No? Well, yeah. I am. Why? cause I am totally insane. There's officially no doubt. Listen, yall- I am NOT a runner. My thought & theory behind running has always gone something like this, "I'll start running when the zombies start chasing after me."

Well.

I'm running for them.
There are real-life zombies who chase after people every day.
If you want to help- strap on your running shoes! Just kidding! (sort of.) Feel free to donate on-line. I'll be throwing up a button on my blog soon & shamelessly begging people for sponsorship in the next few weeks.

Everyone have a wonderful Wednesday! I'll see yall tomorrow! Same bat-time! Same, sometimes, batty-channel!

To Recap

It's been an eventful spring, summer and fall around Bloggergirl Inc. And, while I try to keep things light and upbeat around here- as we all know, sometimes life gets in my way

We shall start with the bad news, my Grandma passed away in July. I am still grieving. I have been blessed and spoiled by being 30 and (as of July) still having 3 of my grandparents. And I was keenly aware of that. Those were some of the hardest days of my life, thus far. And... that's saying something. My Grandma was human. She was flawed. But Eleanor Pentino knew how to LOVE. And she taught her family how to love. We're all still trying to grapple with her last few months of life (they sucked). Trying to focus on the greater-than 80 years prior to those months. And, trying to figure out what life without her means now.

For me- it means, back to school. Yea. Lot's of time in the kitchen as well. I am on a mission to immerse myself in my Grandma's recipe's. Cooking. It's how I cope. There's something therapeutic in chopping and stirring and tasting and standing over a hot stove. Hitting the Italian Rosseta Stone lessons harder. I am determined to go to Rome & go to Mass for my Grandma... she wanted to go but didn't get to. And I want to go to the homeland. And teaching the little dude all of these things- and more.

Some good news? (please, oh please? you say) I have been keeping company with another J as of late. How do you like that turn of phrase? For the purposes of this blog, we shall call him "E". Just because having to "J"'s is waaaaay too confusing. I suppose I could call Jacob "little J" and the other, "big J".... but that's a little silly. And there is logic to my "E"- last name. :-)

Let's see, a little about E. He likes sushi. Me. Books. He's wicked funny. Darned handsome. Will read anything... no really, I mean it (I have the saved, emailed news articles to prove it... wait is that weird?... hmmm). And I think I've got him convinced that taking your intrepid Bloggergirl to the Great State Fair of Texas to see the Bangles (yea!) is a great idea.
He'll be thrilled, he got props on my blog.

Somewhat off the wall question that will make sense in a moment- are there any scifi cool kid geeks out there? Yes? Great. Are you reading Jim Butcher's Dresden Files? No? Then get thee to the book store or to the internet book supplier of your choice and start reading. Just sayin'.

Okay people- happy Wednesday.
Oh, before I forget! I joined twitter! Join me there!
And come back tomorrow to here my rant about facebook, twitter & my newest bit of crack, pinterest!
Peace out!

Oh, Yes I Did

I admit it.

I watched the premiere of Two & a Half Men last night.... with my dad. Why? Obviously I have no shame when it comes to television & my viewing habits are questionable. But, hey- at least I draw my line at reality tv...

Anyway. Back on point. Ah, yes. Ashton Kutcher's bare tushy.

What? there was pixelation. (pixleling? pixels?)

I laughed. I did. There, I said it. My daddy laughed. We burst out loud laughing. Evidently we have the comic maturity of 13 year olds- what can I say... I am my father's daughter in some ways.
But we did walk away with some valuable life lessons (as we always do).

Life Lessons from Last Night's Two and a Half Men
Never marry your stalker.
Hell halth no fury like a stalker scorner. (see above rule)
Teenage boys are always hungry. At all times. No matter what.
A Dustbuster can pick up anything.
A lack of emotional maturity could= Alan Harper as your savior... = naked hugging


Yes, it's a new show. Yes, if it offended you before- it will probably offend you now. No, it doesn't have an ounce of sentiment in its' marrow. But, darnit- it's funny.

"And he's a hugger."

Return of the BloggerGirl

AAANnnnnnd,

She's back.

Really, I have no excuse- save for the fact that I totally forgot my blogger password. Really. I'm not kidding. One would think that I would have the 20million or so passwords that I maintain written down somewhere, but I might be a wee bit paranoid about someone with evil intentions getting their hands on my password list & having their wicked way with my stuff....

..... if only I had been a smidge more paranoid about the thought of not remembering my password & thus not being able to ... you know, blog. Sigh.

Ah well.

Lots and lots going on here-
I'll save it for another day.
More food.
More stories.
More pictures.
.... and the ongoing saga of the epic journey of a mother & her 3 year old son who believes pooping is for chumps!

Be sure to check the sidebar. New links are coming soon! (none of the are about poop)
Until next time

Irony with a Side of Burgers

Or maybe the other way around.

Anyway.

True story. I do not like burgers. Or meatballs. Or meatloaf. Or any other compacted meat... thing. I have nothing against ground meat- I find it tasty, but when it's compacted... we've got trouble. It's a texture thing & it skeeves me out.

::shudder::

However, I make a really kicking burger.

ground beef
1 packet of hidden valley ranch dressing
worcestershire sauce (several healthy shakes out of the bottle)
hot sauce (just a shake or two)... note: sauce, not salsa, there's a difference
salt (a couple of grinds)
pepper (a couple of grinds)
... and to really make it fun, toss in some cheese crumbles- I like blue cheese

Mix it all together & let it sit and chill in the fridge for a couple of hours before you pat them out into patties and through them on the grill. And, if you have texture issues, like yours truly, then crumble your pattie up (sloppy joe style) & enjoy on your bun.... just be sure you can ignore the eye rolling from your beloved friends and family!

Peace Out!

Thinking Out Loud

I was reading a blog post today on a blog site I rarely go to. My readings are extremely varied. I like reading the thoughts of people who agree with me... but I also like to read the thoughts of people who do not agree with me. Call me crazy, but there are days when I do want to hear from people who hold totally opposing viewpoints from me- I think it's healthy. and it keeps me from getting intellectually lazy.

Today was one of those days. The blog post that is sitting on my brain revolves around a lady who doesn't support the Boy Scouts of America because they are mean to gays and people who don't believe in God. (that's really not all that far off from the words she used.) They are bigoted, she says & she doesn't support them. That the Supreme Court was wrong to let them continue in their meanness. And, by the way, here's a link where you could make the BSA be nicer- or "affirming and inclusive." And other mothers chimmed in, affirming her.

(she does support the Girl Scouts, who are nice to gays and people who don't believe in God... if you were wondering.... and posted a link where you could go give the Girl Scouts a big "Way to Go!" if you were so inclined.)

Anyway- what struck me was this..... the Boy Scouts say upfront what they believe in. There is really no mystery. Why could they want to allow people who don't believe the same things they do into their organization? And for that matter, why would people who don't believe the same things that the Boy Scouts do WANT to be involved?

Because there is more to it, I think. Because some people can't respect that others don't agree with them. Because it's much easier to hang ugly labels on people and groups than it is to say, "You know what, I disagree. But, let's agree to disagree." AND WALK AWAY.

Respect runs both ways.

Happy Birthday Grandpa

me and my grandpa, Norman Pentino- 91 years old today

The Bottom

Some days I'm just scraping the bottom of the barrel to find blogging material.

I admit it. Like today. All I really want to do is whine about my allergies. And the nasty, dirty car that I really need to clean out before it stages a revolt and drives away on its own. (not that I would blame it, AT ALL.)

..... and speaking of whining- can I just tell you about my cell phone?

Ugh. Ok, here's the deal. I have had this phone for about a year or so. In other words, IT'S NOT THAT OLD. But every 5-7 text messages or so, I have to take the back off. Take the battery out. Put the battery back in. Replace the back. Then turn the phone back on. And then I can go back to the text messaging area of the phone and go the outbox where my message has been lovingly (not!) saved and send my (freaking!) message.

Why must I do this? I'm going with, because my phone has a demon.

....I miss my Razor. My pretty, pretty Pink Razor. I mourn it. I do.

Oh, and also- sometimes, my phone will blast people with 3 or 4 texts from me at very odd times of the day.... like 3 or 4 in the blessed morning. Good times.

So, if I know you in the real world & you get multiple, oddly timed text messages from me.... no, I'm not loosing my mind (yet)... my phone has it out for me.

And yes,I probably was trying to ask you or tell you something at one time... feel free to inquire what it was! :-)

Words? Totally Not Needed.

When Everything Is Said

In the last month or so, I have had 2 dear ladies in different branches of my family pass away. Each of them lived long lives. They were the matriarchs of their respective branches & are so darn loved and will always be.

Death is an interesting device.

When both of these dear ladies passed, everyone did what just about all people do- they started going through the Rolodex of their minds, reliving every moment they could remember. Thinking back on their times with them, laughing, crying, talking about their personalities. What they believed in. Who they were, way down the marrow.

And that started me thinking. When it's all said and done & you're not here anymore and memories are all that people have left of you.... who will people say you were?

It's a question I've been asking myself a great deal this month. It's a question that's worth asking of ourselves a lot, I think. The memories and the legacy that we leave behind for others are really what it's all about, in the end. I think they are more tangible than money, or cars, or clothes or any of that stuff- because all of that junk can be taken away. But the moments... the life we live with the people around us... that can't be taken away. Not really.

Anyway- I've just been thinking about what will be said. What I hope will be said. And how to live a life worthy of it.

I Love...

1. that I remembered the Macy's gift card from my grandparents that was tucked away in my wallet... I bought a new signature ring with it.... I love it too.

2. the Wonderful Wizard of Oz when I'm feeling down.

3. when my brain kicks in before my mouth engages... Don't ask.

4. Freshly painted toe nails.

5. lilies.

6. the new purse my friend Faith got me for my birthday. It's bright and lovely and whimsical.... and I'm thrilled it's officially spring and I can start to use it without breaking into Emily Post hives.

7. pink. But you knew that.

8. when I have new books to read. Makes me all warm and fuzzy.

9. A certain little dude with blond hair and blue eyes & a crazy love of Thomas the Train and Mickey Mouse.

10. Gus McCrae.

11. beef stew on cold, chilly days

12. drive-in movie theaters

13. watching movies that are so bad that they are worth watching... just for the sheer pleasure of mocking within an inch of the movie reel. (I'm looking at you, Red Riding Hood.)

14. the jalapeno soup at Fish City Grill.... greatest soup, ever.

15. flower pens- those make me so darn happy. every time I go to write something and pick up one of my flower pens, I smile a little.

Hold the Special Sauce

So, there is this place.
I like to go there for my sushi fix.
It's almost like my very own Cheers- they know me. I know them. I know their food.

... or at least, I used to.

Until my trusted sushi chef moved from his place of my comfort to the kitchen and a new sushi chef took his place behind the counter.

Oh, dear.

It has not been the same.

I've has lively discussions about yellowtail and whitemeat fish (I was later vindicated, by the way... I KNEW he gave me the wrong piece of fish!). Presentation is slightly different and is taking some getting used to.

But there is one thing... the special sauce. Oh. No. Just, no. I don't care if it's suddenly "traditional." There has never been special sauce on my yellowtail sushi before & darn it, it displeases my sensitive pallet!

The first time I saw it, I just stared at it... horror struck. What was this reddish-pinkish goop on my perfectly lovely fish? I couldn't eat it. I wouldn't eat it. I made my dining companion eat it. And then report to me. (spoiler: it was a no)

The only special sauce I really want to deal with has the word soy in front of it, thankyouverymuch.

So, in conclusion- always remember. Hold the special sauce. And please, Dear Sushi Chef.... come back. Please. No, really. Please.

Part 1 (cause I have nothing else)

Random Fluff


1. Because of the movie JAWS, I cannot swim in the ocean. No way, no how.

2. I (possibly) have an un-natural obsession with sci-fi.

3. My favorite on-stage role in a musical (thus far) has been Nancy in Oliver. It was a dream come true to perform that role & I would love to again.

4. My favorite on-stage role in a straight show (thus far) has been the Stage Manager in Our Town.

5. My favorite play is Our Town.

6. I read Shakespeare when I was 10 for fun.

7. As a child, I was obsessed with the television show, Perry Mason.

8. When I was 8 or 9, I asked for & received a law book for Christmas. Read the whole thing.

9. Law Vegas is the happiest place on Earth for Taylor.

10. My paternal grandfather was born in Sicily and came to America when he was 9.

11. I am claustrophobic.

12. I have a trophies for dancing when I took dancing lessons.

13. I have singing awards from junior high & high school competitions.

14. I have a pink lap top & it's named 'the pretty, pretty pink precious.'

15. I can watch The Wizard of Oz again & again & again...... & again.

16. One of my favorite literary characters is Gus from Lonesome Dove.

17. I read Gone with the Wind, cover to cover, when I was 8.

18. When I was a child, grounding me meant taking away my library privileges.

19. MacGyver is my hero.

20. Bluebell ice cream is my favorite because I used to eat it with my D-Daddy (grandfather) when I was a little girl.

21. I would rather eat my grandmother's sugar cookie dough than eat the cooked cookies.

22. I don't like bananas... but I like banana flavored food. It's a texture thing.

23. I won't eat compacted ground meat, ie: burgers, meat loaf, meatballs. Nasty! Again, texture thing. But I will eat ground meat that's broken up.

24. I worked for a U.S. Congressman for almost 2 years. Very cool.

25. My favorite actor is Robert Duvall.

26. I have met all the lead actors in Star Trek the Next Generation & have their autographs.

27. Walter Keonig hit on me once...

28. Leonard Nimoy said that I was a very pretty & polite young lady.

29. My favorite cupcakes are the strawberry and the red velvet cupcakes from Sprinkles.

30. I must have coffee in order to form coherent thoughts and sentences.

Pause

If you know me, then you know that the only "pause" I'm a fan of is the pause button on the remote control when I have to run to the bathroom in the middle of a movie...

Let me back up for a moment- I love my church. I adore my pastor. I do. Really. But there are times when I could gladly hurl my Bible at him in the middle of the Sunday service. Seriously. There are certain sermon series that I hate with a fiery passion in my heart- mainly because I can hear the voice of God in my pastor's words.... and that bugs me. Especially when its not something I want to hear.

Our current sermon series is on "Pause"- when it seems like your life is on pause.
Heh, insert joke here.
Mine qualifies.
I have control over some of it- but there is quite a lot that... I don't. A question was posed at church this past Sunday, "What are you totally relying on God for? In other words, if God doesn't 'come through' it won't happen?" .... If I really knew you, dear readers, I could give you a list. I'm thinking of a couple in particular.

But I have seen (in particular... very recently... very clearly) how powerful prayer is. I have seen what happens when God moves in the lives of His children. It's electrifying. It's thrilling. It's wonderful. It's scary. It's joyful.

Have you ever felt as if you were walking through something... as if you were dealing with a lot of 'stuff' that clearly wasn't the point? As if you were being prepared for something? Lot's of puzzle pieces being picked up, gentle readers... I'm not really sure what the end picture is supposed to look like but- I have great hopes for it.

If You were Wondering

It should be of note to all that I cannot play pool.

Let me explain. I went to play pool with some friends not all that long ago. Which is a rather charitable description of how I play.
I have a very, very specific m.o. when it comes to playing pool (or any other game I know I don't stand a snow balls chance of winning).... "if you can't beat.... screw with 'em till you break them."

And darned if it doesn't work quite a few times. Heh.

Though, honestly, I do always feel rather sorry for the poor person who gets saddled with me as a pool partner. They should get a handicap. (Oh, wait... they did. Me.)

Kinda Like the Black Death

Only we didn't die.

Jacob was struck down from Wednesday night to Monday. Yikes. Fever, deranged coughing fits... snotty nose. Yucky. The poor child is still coughing, though thankfully, not as badly. There for a day or so, I thought I was going to see one of his internal organs on my rug.

And just in time for him to get on the upswing of that mess, the pollen count here in North Texas has started to rocket sky high. Not cool. He seems to be okay for now, but I can only breath out of one side of my nose at any given moment in time.

(btw, it is totally possible that we have killed an entire rain forest in Kleenix within the last week)

I'm hoping the boy will feel like going to school tomorrow & be up to spending the night with his dad tomorrow night. He's missed out on both the last week. He is getting back to his old self- last night, I caught him rummaging in his closet... something he is NOT supposed to be doing, by the way.

I looked at him and said, "What are you doing?"

The child looked at his mother and said, "Who, me?"
....... and batted his sweet little blue eyes.

We're Skipping School Today

but we have a doctors note. And its' not really school- school. It's playschool. But... still.
Jacob has 'special germs' right now. He came home from his dad's house on Wednesday night with a runny nose and a fever.

Awesome.

It only got worse. He went to bed at 9pm, got in a good nap until 11pm and was awake, fever'ish (102.6!) for THE ENTIRE REST OF THE NIGHT. yea. The poor boy felt like poo- or as he says, "boop." His fever finally broke about 4:30(ish)am... and he finally drifted off for another nap about 5am. He popped up at 7:30am. Ugh.


I would like to say that, the good news was, even with all that fever, he never hurled. Though we had one moment of drama. Around 3am, he was laying in my bed... I was drifting in and out. The lights were off.
All of a sudden, he sat straight up in bed, looked at me and said, "Uh-oh, Mommy!"
Crap.
I sat straight up in bed, knowing... just knowing that my child was about to blow his cookies all over my bed.
But then, after a moment, he looked at me and then laid back down again.
......... I think he was just screwing with me.
It worked.

Needless to say, we went to the doctor.
Severe Upper Respiratory Infection.
Bugger.

And so, we're on house arrest for a couple of days. Lots of fluids. Lots of rest. Lots of Mickey Mouse (the only rodent allowed in my house, by the way). Lots of coffee for the Mommy. Lot's of Tylenol and Motrin. A forest worth of Kleenix. Changing one pair of pajamas for another (the boy, not the mommy. The mommy is getting dressed every day.... otherwise she would feel icky. The boy is happy in his jammies.)

... and so I leave you with a picture from better times. Jacob in better health & the Steelers hasn't blown the SuperBowl yet. Peace out!

Valentines with P-Dub

How I spent my Valentines Day.... an essay in pictures. Kinda. I was going to takes pictures of the lines.... of the peoples, etc. But my feet hurts. And my legs hurt. And I was hungry. And sleepy.

So this is all you get. P.S.- my camera staged a revolt. Yes, the picture quality sucks. I'm aware. Just wait until you scroll to the bottom- the picture of me? Yeah, that really sucks.

Ree Drummond- The Pioneer Woman
She autographed my cookbook. Yes, my cookbook. Why? Cause I'm a super, space cadet like that.

.... and then I had asked her to autograph the other book she wrote. The story of how she met her husband. It's way too cute for words.

Oh look, the covers!

Hey. It was 11pm. That's all I'm sayin'.

I went home and died not long after this picture was taken.

Once More, Unto the Breach

or something like that.

School is back in full force. Please, see my excitement........

(crickets. crickets.)

The tests. Oh, the sheer number of exams that await me.

There is much to do & even less time to do it in. I foresee not a whole lot of sleep in my future & an even greater amount of caffeine. Heh, everyone thought I was an addict before.

The "D"word is almost final. Almost. Maybe. In some far off world. Place or time. ::sigh:: I was promised that a certain signature would happen this week (ahem, its Thursday). And that everything would be final so that, you know, child support would kick in March 1st, J's health insurance would have an official 'must be done' date, my car could be transfered to my name.... You know, small stuff like that. Odds and ends, really.

::slow burn, people. slow burn::

(and no, I'm not bad-mouthing my soon-to-be-ex-husband. I'm merely expressing my feelings.)

Anyway. Lot's of "stuff" going on. And that's about the only word for it. Anyone ever had a season like that? Just a lot of "stuff." And it all requires your attention, though some of it you would gladly chuck out the window. Some good. Some bad. Some, you just stare at going, "What... the hell?"

And then there's the added fun of the single mom "stuff." Some good and some bad. That puts a whole new spin on everything you do, say and think.... I think. I've got hours of material on that one. But, suffice it to say, no matter how much help you get (and I've had a solid support system with deep roots)... in the end, it's all on you. You're the mom.

And that's a heavy burden.

Yes, it does change (a lot) when you divorce. The other parent isn't there, in the home. So guess what? If you're anything (at all) like me- you start qestioning every. single. freaking. decision. and then totally up the years of therapy that you become convinced your child is going to require at some point.

::sigh::

Slightly off track, I did get. Anyway. Moving on.
Like I was saying. Sorting through the "stuff."
What fun.

Leaning on prayer.
Learning from Sarai (or, Sarah... if you would prefer). My dear, friend. Yes, she is.
Living in the moment.
Learning to listen.
Learning to speak.

Death by Turn Over

... and extreme football stress.

Yes, my Steelers lost.
.......... spoiler if you didn't watch the game. And yes, I paced the ENTIRE width and length around my house. A few times. Muttering, many times, "I can't watch this. This stresses me out."

Only to park my tush on the sofa upon completing a circuit around the living room. I couldn't help it. I'm totally glutton for punishment. As are, apparently, my people from Pittsburgh. Oh, the humanity of it all. The crying. The weeping. The gnashing of teeth.

Then the circuit around the house would start again. It's a great way to get your cardio in, I've found. Pace your way through a football game.

There was one brief, shining moment.... and then Steeler Nation was plummeted back to the pit of hell. Ugh. (and again with the pacing.....)

Turn overs... how I loathe thee.

Jacob even gave up on the game. 5 minutes before the end. He walked to his bedroom door, opened it & demanded to be put to bed... I can't say that it was a bad decision in the long run.

Ah, well. Until next year Steeler Country, until next year..... that is, if there is a next year.
Hopefully the players and the coaches will decide to be nice and play together nicely.
Anyone besides me have the overwhelming urge to give these massively well-paid PLAYERS & OWNERS a time-out.... and maybe a doseof reality?

I Affirm This in EVERY Way......

Yeah, it's cold.

It's cold.

no. I mean, it's frakking cold.

Holy buckets, it's cold outside. Winter is having one last party in north Texas and it's inhabitants are freezing their collective keesters off. I'm hold up with my warm blankets, fuzzy warm socks, my cat, my heating pad... and a lot of laundry that the dratted laundry fairy keeps bypassing.

I'm going to have to do something about that before the mountain of laundry buries me alive.
Death by dirty (but cute) socks.
Not a good way to go.

Stay warm!

A Quiet

The little Lad has jetted down to south Texas on a beach vay-cay with his dad for a week.

My heart.
a dear friend asked me this weekend how I was feeling. i believe my response what something along these lines, "You know the suction attachment of the Hoover vacuum? Yeah, it can suck your soul right out of your body."
gotta love a multi-tasker

So, um, yeah.

What will the most devoted mommy of one be up to, you ask? Well, it's so very climactic. Please, contain your jealousy. I'm going to get the oil changed in my car. And, since I'm feeling particularly wild this week, I think I'll get the inside detailed out. Mount Laundry seems to have piled up on me again. Bah. And then there's the small matter of J's Christmas tree and manger set that are still out (yeah, blew right on past Epiphany..... "Here's one for you Taylor, stop procrastinating on putting Christmas stuff away! until February shows its face).

Are you jealous yet?
.... and then my dear, sweet, wonderful band of merry men & women ("I am NOT a merry man!") who are responding to my S.O.S. to keep me occupied and my spirits up during my Jacob-less week.

(Total props and bragging rights if you can place the above mentioned quote.)

And now I must go- apparently February is going to show her skanky self by blasting up with frakking freezing weather and snow. I gotta count my blanket, my soft fuzzy sweaters, and socks..... and glare at Target. a wonderful retailer that is already selling swimsuits. in January/February. Have they no shame? Santa's corpse isn't even cold yet!

But if he sticks around here, it will be freezing.

(** a note, this is the longest my little dude has ever been away from me. forgive me, my whining. :-) it's been a long time since I've been in anything BUT full-time 'mom-mode'**)

Cause I'm Awesome Like That

So, I woke up at 2:30 Saturday morning thinking that I was going to blow my cookies.

(spoiler: I didn't.)

But I laid there drifting out of a very uncomfortable sleep until it was time to wake my child to send him off with his father at 8:30am... thinking that I was going to blow my cookies. And the dizziness. Oh, the dizziness.

As soon as Jacob was safely trotting down the walkway with his dad (after making me chase him around the house, not wanting to get dressed or mind, at all before his dad arrived) I stumbled back to bed until it was time for him to come back home.

Jacob ate lunch & then took a nap & then I laid down too. Cause, did I mention the dizziness?

Mamaw here, thought that someone had yanked the world off its' axis and spun it fast without my permission & I was getting ready to get my broomstick after the no-good ya-whoos.

It got better as the day went along & then Sunday dawned....

Hi dizziness, you're back. Rinse and repeat.

Monday Morning. Rinse and repeat. Again. (But, with the added bonus of an early riser who wanted in my bed... not to sleep, but to bounce up and down. For about 30 minutes. 'Kid, this boat ain't big enough for the both of us.')

Possibly time to go to the doctor, huh?

My doctor looks in my ears and asks me this question... "Does your ear hurt... at all?"

"Um, no. Why?"

"Because you're right ear is so inflamed it looks like it's about to explode out of your ear."

Awesome.

So that explains the vertigo and strange compulsion to heave my stomach contents. And my abysmally low blood pressure. Yeah, for dizziness. Stupid inner ear.

More good news- its not actually an infection. It's just really inflamed. Excellent. Drink plenty of fluids and treat the symptoms until it goes away. How long, you ask? 3-4 weeks. Rock on.

Yes, I'm a medical over-achiever. Who, by the way, is totally a sucker for the power of suggestion. Yeah, my right ear. It's bothering my now.

But, in actual good news- THE STEELERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!
I'll try and devote another post to my happiness over that.
For now, Mamaw needs to get her blanket and pillow and go lay down. Lie down? Ugh, I never can remember which it is. Grammar, why must you taunt me so?

Sat. Steelers' Game

A little late... I know. What can I say? It's been a long week. I'm happy to say that I believe that Jacob is on the upswing of the crummy-crud. Yea!

So, in honor of that.... I give you a 3 part picture show, portraying the emotions that went into watching the Steelers game on Saturday. (Spoiler: we won. thank God.)

Happy, Enthused. Filled with Hope.... Just after kick-off.

Half-Time.... remember the emotions from kick-off? Yeah. Not so much.

The end of the game. Tired. Depleted. But, happy & content.

But then I remembered that I get to do it all again this coming weekend.... clearly I have no sense of self-preservation.....

...... or possibly just a very healthy sense of competition.

If I'm Still Awake In 3 Hours, You'll Know Why

Of course, by the time any of you read this you'll be thinking, "of course she's awake. why wouldn't she be?" As I type these words, it's 12:27... oops, make that 12:28am in the blessed a.m. & I fully expect to be summarily & often roused from my beauty sleep a time or 2 (or 10) tonight.

Why?

The Lad.

He's a bit on the sickly side.

Eee-gads. Every time the weather changes, it happens. Last year, I was graced with the ear infection that. wouldn't. die. (seriously. 4 weeks. morphed twice.) We've managed to hop, skip and jump our way through sickly-sick season thus far, but I fear that we're about to get a beating with a brick stick.

...and that hurts.

Jacob is a cuddly, affectionate little boy- just by his nature.

When he's sick. He's SUPER-mondo clingy boy. And Mr. Cranky McCrankerston... who falls apart at the. slightest. thing. for. no. blessed. reason. Yeah, lived with it the last day or so.

And the coughs. Oh, the poor boy. Coughed through his nap yesterday & today. And I can hear the congestion. ::frowny face::

But the best part about sicky-Jacob is the early mornings.... that's usually when his sweet little body decides to go AWOL on me. (ie: early morning puke-fests 2010) Once, he actually coughed so much he threw up. Awesome. ::whimper::

I've kept it at bay thus far....
Oh, please. Please, for the love. Go away coughs and congestion. Find some other smuck to pester.

So, in conclusion. If you see me around tomorrow & I seem... oh, what's the word? Slightly desperate for my caffeine hit??? Now you'll know why. And if you really love me, you'll have that Starbucks I.V. drip line waiting for me.

I Have This Friend

But I've never met her face to face.

How is it that we're friends, you ask? The magical world of the internet. Oh, magical internet. And the magical blogs that bind us.

My sweet bloggy friend, Joanne. The Simple Wife.

She's lovely. And kind. And honest (about her flaws and her high points). And encouraging. The very antithesis of "simple."

And totally part of my little community of "invisible friends"... and I'm part of hers.

She's 38.

She has 2 pre-teen daughters.

She's been married 19 years.

On Tuesday, my friend suffered a stroke.

It was bad.
And I am gutted for her. For her family. My heart grieves. It doesn't matter that I have never seen her face to face. In the years since the invisible, internet howdies were swapped, a friendship was forged & I am heartsick. My young, vibrant friend- with so much life in front of her- is in a hospital bed and she may not wake up. We don't know. We hope. We pray.

It's ana amazing thing, the internet. I've come to know & befriend a vast array of characters. A rather amusing little band of characters. It really is a band of 'invisible friendships'. You can't see them, but they are there. And, perhaps like, 'visible' friendships, you may not see the preciousness in some of them until they are removed.

Just something to think about in your visible and invisible friendships.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Since I'm very tired & Matilda is still beating me like a rented circus monkey, here's a happy little video that will make us all smile. :-)

disclaimer: the car was pulled over & parked when the video was taken.

disclaimer #2:..... I have no idea where the child gets his yen for the dramatic.

Poor Matilda

My back. She hurts.
And as she has been making a crying, gnashing, weeping pest of herself the last week or so, I thought it was only right to give her a name. Welcome her. Bake her cookies. Yes, I tried bribery. Hey, I'd do almost anything for a homemade oatmeal/chocolate chip cookie... it was worth a try with Matilda.

No dice.

Matilda still pains me. She's had a date night every single night this week with Fernando, my heating pad. They get along great... except when Fernando gets a little too hot for her. It happens. He's a hottie, after all. But I'm a very good chaperon & I get them to turn the heat down before anyone gets burned.

Tomorrow I must cajole Matilda into helping me with laundry (blasted laundry fairies skipped over my house this week), finish sorting through 'throw away' & 'give away' piles, etc, etc, etc.

In conclusion, while it may seem strange to some to have named my aching back & my heating pad... and to set them up on dates. It may sound odd to some to bribe or cajole a body part into well-being or something that resembles a pain-free existence.

But...

After a week...
Have I mentioned that my back... it pains me? sigh....

30

Well.

Huh.

So.

I had a birthday here not all that long ago. I am, officially, in my 30's. I haven't decided what I think of this turn of events. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be 30. I mean that. If nothing else, it means that I have managed to not do anything so stupid as to get myself killed. (and with the headlines I read on the news, that's a little bigger of a deal than it was a few years ago...)

No... at present I have been waxing poetic in my mind over turning 30. I suppose its this time of year. It's what happens when one turns a decade age. It's what happens when skinny jeans turn my boot cut jeans into 'mom jeans'....

Its the circle of life, Simba.

I turn 30 as a single mom.
I turn 30 as a woman finishing her UNDER-grad.
I turn 30 as a woman living with her kiddo... and her parents.

le sigh

It happens.

Yes. It. Happens.

But.

I turn 30 as a woman who is finishing her undergrad & is making plans to get her Masters.

I turn 30 with a plan to buy my own home... hey, its a plan. I'm thrilled with a plan.

I turn 30 & I have a son that I adore. And I get to raise him around his grandparents & great-grandmother for a couple of years. And they adore him.

I turn 30 with a church that loves on me & my kiddo.

I turn 30 with friends who make me laugh even on days when I don't want to laugh. On days when I would rather marinate in my anger or self-pity.

I turn 30 with a family who NEVER ceases to amaze me with their ability to love me. And, after 30 years... that's kinda, sorta something.

I turn 30 as the mother of a little boy who... makes my every day.

I turn 30 as the Daughter of a King.


Turning 30 is looking better with every stroke of the key.

So, this week.

So, I'm cleaning and purging this week.

Hold me.

After packing up and condensing my entire life (along with J's) into storage & 2 bedrooms in my parents' house it has become blazingly clear that I have too much crap.

Way too much crap.

Oh, I've purged through my belongings before. There's a couple of boxes to prove that out in the garage... awaiting that phantom garage sale that has never quite happened. Whoops. Anyway. New Rule. If it's in one of my drawers or my closet & I haven't used or worn it in 2 years, it's outa here.

And then maybe, if I'm really, really lucky I'll find an hour (or 20) to go through the boxes upstairs and see what I can donate or sell from those.


My other project is to geek my way through the two new cookbooks that came to live with me this Christmas.
Barefoot Contessa's Back to Basics & the Pioneer Woman Cooks
I am over the moon excited to get my cooking on in the weeks to come. I love love love to cook. And I'm trying to be a better baker. I repeat... trying.

Though the Lemon Poppyseed Cakes I made this year as Christmas presents seemed to go over like gangbusters with my nearest and dearest. Note to self: must add that recipe to my permanent file.

Anyway- how are you spending this last week before 2011??

Christmas This Year

There was quite a bit of this....

There was thankfully, only one instance of this... where he actually put his plan into total action

There was plenty of this

several hours were spent looking at this & not getting enough of it...

seeing secrets shared between two buddies

watching a little boy have 'his' Thomas come stay at his house for Christmas

.... and go out and greet him every night when Thomas, "woke up."

21

Years have a way of passing by lightening fast. So fast that you could get whiplash trying to catch them as they fly by.

I ruminate today on how 21 years could have passed me by so fast. That many years since my granddaddy walked this earth.

Crazy.

Sometimes it seems like its been forever since I saw him.
Ask me another time, and I would swear, with breathless certainty, that it seems like just yesterday.

I miss his face.

Time doesn't heal all wounds, gentle readers. No. No. Sometimes it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. But time puts distance between you and the visceral, knee jerk pain. That goes away. The dull ache. That doesn't.

And, really... would you want it to?
For me, the pain of my grandfather's death is part of the joy of the memory of his life. It's all wrapped up in how very much I loved him. How much I love him today. I think that its okay to say that some pains don't go away. Some sorrow grafts itself into the DNA of who you are.

Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Denying that it exists just seems to... I don't know- rob you of an important part of who you are. Am I saying that one should through themselves into the deep pit of terrible sorrow?... no. There is a balance.

I can say that I miss Winston. So much it hurts, still. But I can talk about that old man with joy. With absolute joy. I am so proud to hold his memory. I can laugh and giggle and smile boldly when I think on the time I had with him. That's the balance. That's how it all wraps itself together.

That's the amazing thing about the passage of time. That something can hurt & bring joy all at the same time.

And, after 21 years- that's what I'm thinking about today.

Break

Welcome back. Or, I suppose I should welcome myself back.

The last few days of my semester were a whip. November flew by like a flash, I tell you. And now, we're neck deep into December.

I'm taking a month or two off- it's a must. My brain went to mush.

The last week or so have been lovely. I've rested. I've relaxed... ish.

I've done a lot of reading.

Let's take a moment, please. I've spent the last 6 months chained to text books, so all my precious Pretties have stacked up beside my bed..... calling to me. Begging me to pick them up. To crack the spine and delve into those pages and pages of rich, wonderful prose.

I wax poetic, I do.

It's been a joy. I reread an old favorite- Christy. I love, love, love that book. And now, I'm rewatching the tv series & the PAX movies. Yes, I have them on dvd. Don't judge. (Dear Dr. MacNeill, I heart you.)

I'm currently reading a biography on Anne Hutchinson- yes, I am a nerd. The next book on the list is about Augustus. After that, is a biography on Amelia Earhart.....

In other news, I am happy to report that I have found my winter purse. Special thanks to SAMS and London Fog for coming together to make this joyous event possible. (Hi, my name's Taylor and I can switch subjects from deep to deeply shallow in a split second.) And I now have 2 (yes) pairs on winter boots. Can I just tell you how deeply my wardrobe rejoices over this?

Lot's of stuff happening this month- I'm hoping I can carve out the time to sit and write more. As in, work on my long neglected writing projects. Sigh. I can also hear the Siren Call of the theatre... it's calling to me. I've been away far too long. I find my center there- I really do. Must stop letting my 'breaks' extend for so long.


I looked back over this post & I can't really say that I wrote anything too world shattering. Oh, well. Maybe next time. Until then.