Thursday, February 10, 2011

Once More, Unto the Breach

or something like that.

School is back in full force. Please, see my excitement........

(crickets. crickets.)

The tests. Oh, the sheer number of exams that await me.

There is much to do & even less time to do it in. I foresee not a whole lot of sleep in my future & an even greater amount of caffeine. Heh, everyone thought I was an addict before.

The "D"word is almost final. Almost. Maybe. In some far off world. Place or time. ::sigh:: I was promised that a certain signature would happen this week (ahem, its Thursday). And that everything would be final so that, you know, child support would kick in March 1st, J's health insurance would have an official 'must be done' date, my car could be transfered to my name.... You know, small stuff like that. Odds and ends, really.

::slow burn, people. slow burn::

(and no, I'm not bad-mouthing my soon-to-be-ex-husband. I'm merely expressing my feelings.)

Anyway. Lot's of "stuff" going on. And that's about the only word for it. Anyone ever had a season like that? Just a lot of "stuff." And it all requires your attention, though some of it you would gladly chuck out the window. Some good. Some bad. Some, you just stare at going, "What... the hell?"

And then there's the added fun of the single mom "stuff." Some good and some bad. That puts a whole new spin on everything you do, say and think.... I think. I've got hours of material on that one. But, suffice it to say, no matter how much help you get (and I've had a solid support system with deep roots)... in the end, it's all on you. You're the mom.

And that's a heavy burden.

Yes, it does change (a lot) when you divorce. The other parent isn't there, in the home. So guess what? If you're anything (at all) like me- you start qestioning every. single. freaking. decision. and then totally up the years of therapy that you become convinced your child is going to require at some point.


Slightly off track, I did get. Anyway. Moving on.
Like I was saying. Sorting through the "stuff."
What fun.

Leaning on prayer.
Learning from Sarai (or, Sarah... if you would prefer). My dear, friend. Yes, she is.
Living in the moment.
Learning to listen.
Learning to speak.

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