Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I Am Not A Klutz!

Okay.... well, maybe not the hopeless klutz that everyone (myself included) thought me to be.

Let me start at the very beginning (a very good place to start... :-)

I have had chronic pain in my back, shoulders, neck... knees, feet, etc for years.... YEARS.... as in at least 10.

My knees pop in and out of their sockets causing intense pain. Bad. Bad. Bad. I'm also very prone to twist and sprain my ankle for no apparent reason, ie: not doing anything excessive that might cause the injury, just walking. (Anyone remember what I did during a performance of Horseshoe?!) I tend to trip a lot, my feet just kinda roll out from under me.

Last week I was having some back pain and, for the 2nd time in a few months, I couldn't even breath without intense pain... the kind of pain that would give an aspirin a heachache. I was in tears- and as most know, I've lived with chronic pain for so many years that I have developed a fairly high pain tolerance in that regard... had to or spend my life doped up on pain killers every day of my life. And that's not an acceptable way of life for me.

Anywhoo- Mom and Auntie Charlotte decided that I needed to go see Auntie's chiropractor. I originally went in for my back, but he took on look at my feet and the way I was walking and standing and asked me if I had had foot problems as a child... Why, yes... yes I did. My mother has often told the story about how I couldn't even make it across the parking lot at 6 Flags to the gate without crying that my feet were hurting. (I should mention that I am extremely flat-footed... as in no arch) He asked if I was prone to foot related accidents... ie: twists and sprains on my ankles.... again, my answer was yes.

At this point I was wondering if he'd met me before....

Dr. Keith diagnosed me with feet pronation. He said it was fairly common. But he said that I have an extreme case of- excessive feet pronation. This has caused tibeal torsion in both of my legs.... which has led to condro-malicia patela in both of my knees.... Yes, kids, that's right I have a bad case of runner's knee in both my knees (and I'm not even a runner)!


What this boils down to is that he's having me wear a certain knee brace on my right knee for 2 weeks... then the left for 2 weeks... and then the right for 2 weeks... and then the left for 2 weeks. This is to help with the pain by giving the knee support and to help retrain the patela to go over the joint properly.

Then, of course, there's the issue of my feet. He wants me to be fitted with orthopedic shoes to retrain my feet to walk and stand properly. Fun, huh? But, as he said, I can take care of it now... or I can continue to damage my knees and pay for it later. And to help my knees with any long term care, the foot problem has to be addressed and corrected. ::sigh::

Also- he said that a couple of ribs had become dislocated and displaced... yes, that should hurt just reading it... And it hurts living with it. I believe he called it rib segment disfunction... or something like that. I'm really bad with terms. Anyway, he's working on fixing that.

The good news (after reading through this laundry list) is that all of this is fixable! I can't tell you how excited I am at the prospect of not having chronic pain as my daily companion. I have lived with this mess for years and its come close to disrupting my life many times. But I am so thankful that the Lord has answered my prayers and provided a way for this to be corrected. I have learned how to "gut through" many things because of the crucibles that my Heavenly Father has allowed.

And I think that probably sounded really bad... It's not meant to. I think that God lets us go through suffering to grow us... because it's the only way we will learn to go to Him with our struggles...

It's a daily struggle that I have to renew my commitment every single day to rely on Him. He holds time in His hands... There is nothing that surprises Him and everything fits into His plan in some shape, form or fashion.

But I must confess that sometimes.... waiting for relief is soooo hard. Heartbreaking, really. It makes you take a second look at things in your life. It makes you take a second look at your character... the aspects about you that, once held up in a mirror, make you cringe.

I guess you could say that I am going through a season of introspection right now... and stretching.... oh the stretching... its' making me sore! :-) But there's something to being brought to what you think it the absolute limit of yourself... and then finding that you've past that limit without your notice... and that you're still here... you're still relying on God because He has given you the strength and patience to... not just survive or weather the storm... but blossom in the aftermath.

Our Father requires our obedience... and that obedience is sometimes hard to give. But He is so faithful to us. And He loves us SO MUCH!

He proved that 2,000 years or so ago by sending his son to be a sacrifice on a cross... to reconcile us to Him.

And speaking of Jesus... He loved us so much that He couldn't stand the thought of spending eternity without us... so He died for us.

Amazing Love, huh?

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