The Sharp, Pointy Teeth of Kindergarten

So.

I gotta admit, there's been plenty of days lately when it feels like I'm running from this all day.

For what?

Oh, just the short one's Kindergarten future, that's all.

Good. Grief.

I'm telling you, this Kindergarten crap is going to be the death of me. I've been back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... for months. Public school or homeschool. Public school or homeschool. Both have advantages. Both have disadvantages. Private school just ain't an option- side note, really private schools? Must I pay you in with the the soul of my next born in order to pay for this child's KINDERGARTEN education?!

I had been searching for a 1/2 day Kindergarten around me. Yeah. Good luck with that. I don't want my just barely 5 year old gone for the whole stinking day. I just don't! And, to be honest, the school schedule would wreck havoc on J's visitation schedule (which is enough of a pain the hiney!). Homeschooling would take care of that issue! 

But.

Jacob does need the structure of a classroom. He just does. Being in a room with other kids that he has to get along with and learn from and with.... these are all things that I think would be very good for my little carpet commanche. 

However, I'm still not sure that Jacob is really ready for Kindergarten. His preschool teacher sure didn't think so! (she is a former Kindergarten teacher.) The private school that we had looked at one point didn't think he was seriously ready either... they suggested summer school to get him ready.

(really? summer school? for KINDERGARTEN?!)

I'm driving the neurotic bus on this one & steering straight into the crazy skid. Trying to figure out what works best for our family. What I WANT to do. What NEEDS to be done. What Jacob NEEDS to learn & to love to learn. What he needs to not become the next face on COPS. And, oh my goodness, I feel like I'm about to ruin my child's life & it's just about KINDERGARTEN!!!!!

This would be the point where this conversation takes place in my house:

Me: I don't know what to do! This is his education and future!

E: It's just Kindergarten, Babe.

Me: You don't understand! It's the foundation for his entire education! He could end up hating school and flunking out and then hating me for making the wrong decision all those years ago!!!!

(cue the increased hysteria)

E: Well, in that case. We shall neither sleep nor eat till all is decided!!!

Me: Sometimes I don't know if you're kidding or not.

(silence)

E: I'm going to bed.

The clock is seriously ticking down on me. I have to make a final decision & fast. 

whimper.

Hold me, y'all.